The Clerical Class Sketch

The Clerical Class Sketch

(Three figures stand side-by-side in a row. Archbishop is tall, aristocratic, wearing elaborate, immaculate vestments. Vicar is of average height, wearing a crisp, sensible cassock. Working-Class Professional/Safeguarding Advisor is shorter, wearing sharp, modern corporate-wear and holding a clipboard.)

Archbishop: (Looking straight ahead, then peering down his nose) I look down on them because I have an ancient pedigree, institutional power, and a direct line to God. I am leadership.

Vicar: (Looking up at the Archbishop) I look up to him because he represents the hierarchy and holds my career progression in his hands. (Turns to look down at the Advisor) But I look down on her because she lacks an Oxbridge divinity degree and doesn’t understand the unwritten social etiquette of the diocese. I am the institution.

Advisor: (Looking directly at the camera, completely deadpan) I know my place. I am the professional advisor.

Archbishop: I have a staggering sense of entitlement, but I call it "moral authority." Sometimes I tolerate her because it looks good for our public relations.

Vicar: I am deeply uncomfortable with her presence, but I mask it behind a veneer of pastoral gentleness. I treat her professional challenge as "insubordination" and her straightforwardness as "aggression."

Advisor: I am welcome at the table, provided I remain suitably grateful for the food parcel and never actually question their decisions.

Archbishop: I get a profound feeling of spiritual and social superiority over them both.

Vicar: I get a feeling of nervous deference from him, but a reassuring feeling of superiority over her.

Advisor: (Cranes her neck up, looking at both of them) I get told I have a working-class chip on my shoulder.