Now Ear This

As Charles Clarke lost his seat in the 2010 election, I thought I'd offer a last "tribute" to him.

Now Ear This

Charles Clarke was a man of advancing years

Also with each decade, longer grew his ears

When he was student, they were hidden well

Beneath his hair, scraggly shoulder length it fell

But then he became a serious politician, haircut

Revealed these monstrous appendages, the butt

Of much wicked comment amongst his cronies

Not forgetting the passing smirk from Tony’s

An education secretary, pulled down standards

Lest maths measure the ears growing onwards

Then to the home office, up the greasy pole

Promotion, in charge of all police who patrol

Mr Plod must now answer to Big Ears, they say

But not in hearing distance, there they portray

Mr Clarke as unflappable, a serious politician

With those ears? And their enlarging span?

You might say. I couldn’t possibly comment

About his advancing ears, and their extent.