Saturday 29 July 2023

Breaking Bread: A Tale of the Dark Ages
















As we approach Lammas, 1st August, a poem set in the dark ages. Christianity is starting to take root, but the Vikings are raiding the coasts, and the old blessed ways are still venerated, and have not been entirely forgotten in some villages.

Breaking Bread: A Tale of the Dark Ages

That year there was a frost and bitter cold:
I tell this tale while I can, I now am old;
I remember well, that year the river froze;
I remember the frisky lambs, such joy
To me, a mere stripling, a young boyl
We were happy, yet who truly knows
What fates have in store, and disclose
To us poor mortals. And off the coast,
Through the mist, on sea like a ghost,
Came the Viking ship, as they came
For monkish treasure theirs to claim;
The monastery burned that day and night,
And we did not escape this blight:
Our wooden huts, our village in flame;
Some fought and died, but to our shame,
We ran away, my mother, and I, a lad;
But I was alive. Alive! And so very glad!
With but one loaf, just what we wore,
As we fled this strange and evil war;
Each day we broke bread, ate and drank
From fresh streams, and always thank
Lugh for the gift of corn and bread,
While we trudged on so full of dread;
Inland we made, across the forest glade,
Past where ancestors tombs had made
Of earthen banks, and mighty stones,
Laid the grave goods, laid their bones;
We left there a morsel of our bread,
To honour the ancestors, the noble dead;
And now our bread was old and stale,
And I grew ever sickly, weak and pale;
My mother feared the gods, their wrath,
As we stumbled down a beaten path;
The weather poor: gales, wind, rain:
How we prayed to the god of grain;
Then prayers answered, storm ceased,
And as we turned gaze to the east,
Was a village, so in rags we walked:
Welcomed in our native tongue. We talked,
Told the elders and druid of our quest,
To find shelter in Logres, the true west,
Among our people, our kith, our kin,
Homecoming, to be welcomed in;
And here we were, my mother and I:
We had just survived, we did not die;
But invited to the feast, a ballad sung:
The old songs in our own fair tongue;
At time of first harvest, Lugh be praised:
We quaffed our ale, and beakers raised
For welcome, hospitality to the stranger,
Sanctuary and hope, away from danger;
This Lammas day, corn dollies at the cairn,
When hope once lost, returned again;
How kind fates mended broken thread:
And gather round the fire, broke bread.

Friday 28 July 2023

A Meal at Twigs - 1986




















A Meal at Twigs - 1986
Yvonne Ronez Reports...
[The Journal of Channel Islands Mensa]
May 1986

To all who did not join us for dinner at "Twigs" restaurant on the 1st. May - bad luck - thirteen of us had a lovely time.

The bar is unpresumptuous two tier granite and leatherette, but comforting and welcoming. The dining room is spacious and cottage style, but what this place lacks in sophisticated "chic" it makes up for with its excellent cuisine.

Among the succulent starters at our table were rich home made tomato soup, fresh seafood cocktails, steaming moules. lasagne, deep fried mushrooms with tartare sauce, huge avocado vinaigrette and avocado with seafood. The only quibble here was that the avocados were on the firm side of ripe.

For the main course came Tournedos Aidi with filet steak the size of double decker sandwiches, beautiful roast duck of ostrich proportions, moist roast chicken that looked as though the chef had split a capon in two, tasty scampi Provencal with rice and a delicious sole that had an avocado and mushroom stuffing where the backbone had been - how's that for a massage! To accompany all this were Jacket potatoes, chips, fresh carrots, fresh cabbage and fresh cauliflower, all in large quantities. And as if this were not enough there came soured cream for the jacket spuds.

Somehow or other must of us managed a dessert. Apart from the pies and gateaux there was really fresh fruit salad with not a tinned mandarin in sight, fresh pineapple slices chuckling in a bath of kirsch and fresh sorbet, all lovingly drowned in cream.

Having finished our wine and filled ourselves to bursting, we retired to the bar, loosened our stays and indulged in coffee and liqueurs.

The meal averaged out at about £13 each, which is very reasonable. We could have done with a little more choice at the cheaper end of the wine list, but the quality was high and there was good house wine at £3 a carafe.

The conversation flowed back and forth, the wit sparkled, and the staff were patient and accommodating. We all sat on one table and there was not a murmur of dissent about our requirements for separate bills. So whether it is a gluttonous dinner a deux or the office knees up, this place is wholeheartedly recommended.

Saturday 22 July 2023

Arrivals














Arrivals

A busy airport where I nearly always pray:
Where some time arrival, sometime delay;
And I pray that it will be in on time
And not delayed, cancelled, which I’m
Always fearing. And so often sea fog
Rising from the coast, come to clog
Up all the schedules, how I hate it:
For I am impatient, I admit!
But today is a lucky day, plane lands
On time, people arrive, shake hands,
Hug, smile, cry, all the emotions here,
And I am so pleased, I could cheer;
The sportsman, rugsack on his back,
Ready for rain, old man in plastic mac,
A child, riding the luggage trolley,
A middle aged woman, smiling, jolly,
An old man, slow walking with a stick,
A young girl running ever so quick,
A smart suit and tie, now that’s vanity!
In they come, a sample of humanity;
Then my girl arrives, dear sweet heart,
Time to leave arrivals, and depart!

Friday 21 July 2023

Woolworths – A retrospective from 1986














Woolworths – A retrospective
By Ken Webb
[Thinks!: The Journal of Channel Islands Mensa]
May 1986

In order to fight a take-over bid and to expand their B 8: Q outlets, F.W.Woolworth are selling several of their major stores and closing down a further 22 which are unprofitable. I remember the good. old-fashioned “Woolies” of the old - the very old - days.

When I was a kid, “Woolies” boasted that nothing in their store sold over 6d. in fact they were known as the ”3d and 6d store". Considering that the Woolworth family made millions one wonders how this could be so when the top price was - in modern parlance – 2 1/2 new p. Doubtless something to do with the intricacies of turnover and profit margins.

I recollect as a lad, barely of school age. I had an intense desire for a gramophone but our family being exceedingly poor, it was but a pipe dream.

Imagine my surprise and delight when that Xmas, I was presented with my heart's desire. “Woolies” had done it again! A gramophone for 6d? Well, not quite. The case was 6d (Dad); the clockwork motor 6d (Mum); turntable 6d (Aunt & Uncle); Pick-up arm 3d (Uncle); sound head 4d (Aunt); box of needles 2d(two cousins) - two shillings and three pence all told (11 new p). How about the records. you might say. Well, Woolies sold them for 3d and 6d each but, family finances being as they were, my source of supply was a second hand shop where you could pick them up for 1d each - scratches and all included!

My present system cost some hundreds of pounds but never gives me the happiness of my first ever - 2/3 at Woolies.

Such is progress!

Saturday 15 July 2023

No Ears to Hear




















By government edict, presumably signed off by the Minister (who was probably told there was a consultation, even though there certainly was not a wide one) has decided that St Clement school is no longer the school for the deaf unit so it’s sadly ended. This is the school which had a signed choir which won awards at the Eisteddfod. How can that continue now? The new mood is against it.

Apparently deaf children can now choose which school they go to as technology will help them, no need to have real people in  support! And yet even with cochlea implants, sound is not the same as normal hearing and at some time it will probably be realised that extra support in one place would have been a good idea. (see https://youtu.be/lzgQrHFDNLE for details on how they differ from normal speech). 

All the deaf resources have been cleared out and packed into boxes – 20 years of resources, which I do hope will not be dumped. [postscript - most of them have been]. And sadly the specialist rooms are now re delegated as normal rooms. Such a shame as St Clement was the first school to be specific built to incorporate deaf education. But that, as this poem shows, is “progress”.

Just so it does not go unrecorded....

No Ears to Hear

They cannot listen, and yet they can hear,
Unlike those they forget in quiet despair;
Budget cuts, school policy changes, lost
Amidst this is the very human cost
As St Clement’s School closes its doors
To the deaf. A policy from upper floors
Of an unaccountable civil service here:
But technology can bridge gaps, never fear -
Until it cannot, and a diaspora of the deaf
Now in many schools. A discordant clef:
The notes are musique concrete, off key,
As common sense and compassion flee;
An invisible hand swept support away:
Deaf classrooms closed this very day;
This is a future, and nothing to keep
Of deaf culture. I could surely weep
At what is decided behind closed doors,
Inside office buildings, on upper floors;
But this is how things are done today:
It is "progress" and also “The Jersey Way”;
Cost effectiveness, a calculus of misery,
As the signing class consigned to history,
Without even a historian to record it:
It goes silently, closure, forced to quit;
No more the human touch, reaching out:
Gone without fanfare, without shout;
While teachers protest about their pay,
This is lost in the shadows, in dismay;
And how will the deaf child now cope
As snatched away this means of hope?

Thursday 13 July 2023

The Coronation Year 70 Years Ago - July 1953 Part 2




















By a curious coincidence of dates, the coronation year 2023 will be 70 years after the coronation date in 1953. I thought it would be of interest to look back during this year of some of the events taking place before, during and after the coronation of Queen Elizabeth II.

The Coronation Year 70 Years Ago - July 1953 Part 2

17.—-Keen house competition in St. Heller School sports held at the FB. Fields—Final band performance of Royal Innis’killing Fusiliers at Howard Davis Park.

18.-Flag day for St. John Ambulance raises over £1,008.

20. -Variety show opens at The Forum. Annual general meeting of Jersey Football Association;

21.-—Visite Royale takes place at St. Ouen, the route selected being traversed by cars. Second professional boxing tournament staged in the open air at Springfield.

22.-—Parochial rate at St. Brelade increased to 2/6, this being due to heavy commitments for the St. Aubin’s landslide. Jersey Swimming Club hold floodlit gala and championship races at the Pool.

23.—-British Hill Climb Championship held at Bouley Bay, Ken Wharton winning for the fourth year in succession. St. Helier School‘s first prize-giving takes place at the Town Hall.

24. Conclusion of St. Helier Yacht Club two-day regatta held in St. Aubin’s Bay ; the race from St. Helier’s Harbour to Chausey was held on Saturday and was won by Taquah (R. Hughes).

25.—Before the Full Court to-day the appeal of Mr. J. A. Parr against his conviction on a dangerous driving charge by the Police Court Magistrate was allowed. Mr T. G. Le Marinel, Constable of St. John, accedes to request of influential deputation to stand for the election for Senator. Narrow escape of two visiting Scouts from drowning at St. Brelade’s, members of the Penguin Club, London, bringing the lads ashore. Victoria College swimming sports held at the Pool, Dunlop winning the senior cup. New relief telephone exchange at the Lyric Hall comes into operation.

26. St. John Ambulance inspection, at Springfield, this having to take place indoors owing to inclement weather.

27. Judging of the hotels and guest houses display competition in connection with the Battle of Flowers, the premier award going to Old Portelet Inn. Serious accident occurs at Millbrook, a ganger on the drainage scheme, Mr. Thomas Lee, being run over by a heavy lorry and sustaining multiple injuries. Prize day at Victoria College, the summer concert being held in the evening.

28.—Second and last of the Visites Royale takes place at St. Clement, Roads Inspectors for the Samarés Vingtaine being fined for neglect of duties. The cross-bay swim (from St. Helier Harbour to St, Aubins) won by the English international water polo player R. Turner, who covered the 3 1/2-mile course in 1 hr. 54 m. 1 s.; the ladies’ race was won by 17-year-old Germaine Vautier in 2 h. 38m. 6 s. Judging of the shop Window display competition, Messrs. Jax, of Queen Street, and Doreen Wieland, of Bath Street, taking the principal prizes.

29,—St. Martin’s parish rate reduced from 2/6 to 2/3 per qr. Hampstead Harriers defeat Jersey Athletic Club by 36 points to 30 in meeting at F.B. Fields.

30.—-Jersey’s Battle of Flowers held in grand weather, the attendance being estimated at 40,000 ; St. Saviour’s exhibit again won the 'prix d’honneur ; a big attraction was the band of the Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders; the day concluded with an evening fete and a floral ball at West Park Pavilion.

Saturday 8 July 2023

What I did in my holidays



Do you remember the old days, back in the 1960s and 1970s, when the summers seemed to go on forever, and the beach was a glorious playground, the sea was a giant swimming pool, and in each rockpool lurked a miniature aquarium? And at the end of the holidays, and the start of the new term, a good standby for the English teacher was for you to write an essay about what you did. This poem is an unashamed exercise in nostalgia about those bygone days.

What I did in my holidays

July was a month of summer pleasures
Licking a cone of Jersey ice cream
On a sunny day, one of the treasures
Of this month, my summer’s dream

Childhood is now a distant time away
And yet it still is so vivid in my mind
Beaches, sand castles, school holiday
And shrimps in rock pools to find

Ice cream soda, lollies, lemonade
Splashing in the sea, laughed and joked
High tides crash across the promenade
We run between the waves, get soaked

What I did in my holidays yet to write
Back then, the future was so very bright



Thursday 6 July 2023

The Coronation Year 70 Years Ago - July 1953 Part 1

By a curious coincidence of dates, the coronation year 2023 will be 70 years after the coronation date in 1953. I thought it would be of interest to look back during this year of some of the events taking place before, during and after the coronation of Queen Elizabeth II.

The Coronation Year 70 Years Ago - July 1953 Part 1

1.  St. Brelade’s parish assembly approves plans for repairs to the .St. Aubin’s landslide, these to cost £3,515. Jersey College for Girls’ inter-house swimming sports held at Havre des Pas Pool.

 

2.—Nursing Association holds fete at St. Ouen’s Manor, dismal weather conditions somewhat spoiling this event ; at Springfield the annual sports and gymkhana staged by The Beeches took place,  whilst at Blanches Banques-the third of the Jersey Motor Cycle and Light Car Club’s scrambles was held.

 

3.—Jersey Swimming Club defeated by Cambridge University in swimming match held under flood-lights at the Bathing Pool. St. Mary’s parish assembly decides that the rate remain as last year, i.e. 2/3 per quarter.

 

4. A young French cyclist, 22-year-old Jean Jézéquel, killed outright when his cycle collides with a car on Samarés Inner Road ; a “verdict of accidental death was subsequently recorded at the inquest. Miss Treena van Doorne chosen as “ Miss Jersey Battle of Flowers” in competition staged at the Odeon Cinema.

 

6.—The first sea bathing tragedy of the season occurs at Portelet, the victim being 32-year-old Mr. D. H. E. Dowling; a verdict of accidental drowning was recorded at the. subsequent inquest.

 

7.—-Professional boxing tournament held at Springfield, a crowd of about 1,000 attending.

 

8.-—-Jersey committee of the British Empire Cancer Campaign formed following special meeting of representatives of local associations. Col. A. S. Turnham, CBE, Military Knight of Windsor addresses Rotarians in connection with the British Empire Cancer Campaign.

 

9.—Coronation Air Display at the Airport thrills 30,000 spectators, aerobatics by French airmen being a highlight of the show; an innovation was the arrival of His Excellency the Lt.-Governor by helicopter from Government House. .

 

10.——Inquest opened on the body of Mrs. Ada Le Boutillier, the  octogenarian whose burial was stopped the previous day ; following ; evidence given by the Hospital doctor a verdict of death from pneumonia following a fracture of the femur was returned. First annual  swimming gala of St. Helier School.

 

11.—-At the Royal Court today the companies concerned in the recent agreement on licensed house monopolies announced that the agreements had been cancelled. Regimental band of the Royal Inniskillings commence series of concerts at the Parade Gardens and Howard Davis Park. Verdict of accidental death returned at the inquest held on the body of Mr. Cecil Bernard Fisher, a visitor, who fell from a window at Seabright, Gorey, whilst sleep-walking. Before the Full Court today Mr. G. I. E. Gruchy was admitted a member of the local Bar. A 30-ft. speedboat bound from Guernsey to this Island breaks down off Corbiere, a timely rescue being made by the auxiliary cutter Girl Joyce.

 

13.-—At the Assizes today, David Jack Proper, charged with manslaughter in connection with the recent motor cycling accident on St. Aubin’s Road was unanimously found not guilty and discharged; this was the only case before the Court. .

 

14.—Le Quatorze Juillet celebrated by the French colony in the Island, a reception being held at the French Consulate. Two records broken at J.A.C. championship meeting held at the FB. Fields.

 

15.—Centenier J. N. Germain returned unopposed as Deputy for St. Martin at meeting of electors—Parish of St. John decides on dust collection service, thus rescinding the voluntary collection at 6d. per bin. St. Ouen’s parish rate to remain as last year, i.e., 2/6. Girls ’Life Brigade hold farewell “at home” for their president, Lady Grasett. Swimming section of J.S.S A. hold annual gala at the Pool.

 

16.—Jersey Cage Bird Society stage successful nest feather show at Springfield. Large crowd at Jersey Swimming Club gymkhana at Havre des Pas Pool. .

Wednesday 5 July 2023

What is a Skipper?.


















What is a Skipper?.

With acknowledgements to "Coastguard”.

A skipper is a ‘gentle. reasonable and loving husband, father or friend who turns into a raving demon when overtaken by a hire boat.

A skipper calls his wife "Darling" from Monday to Friday and "you blithering idiot" on Saturday and Sunday, except on holiday cruises when he probably doesn't speak to her at all.

A skipper honestly believes that his wife/girl friend can lasso a bollard 30ft away with a 25ft line.

A skipper is courteous to all other water users - except hire craft, rowing eights, sailing dinghies, children on lilos, members of rival yacht clubs.....

A skipper likes the simple life, he never moors near supermarkets, shops or stores. hairdressers or post offices.

A skipper likes the quiet life, he frequently moors by a riverside pub which disgorges its entire population, including him, at 11.p.m., telling raucous stories and leaping over mooring lines.

A skipper is tolerant. He tries to understand why there is no fresh food, no stamp for his postcards, why his wife's hair looks a mess, why she gives him a filthy look instead of an aspirin for his headache.

A skipper doesn't think, he knows. His crew doesn't think he knows either.

Saturday 1 July 2023

The Hoard




During the summer of 2012 two men, using metal detectors, discovered ancient treasure in a field in Jersey. This treasure of compacted coins had lain hidden for up to 2,000 years. These coins were made about 2,000 years ago – when Julius Caesar and his Roman legions were conquering and the Channel Islands were changing from a Celtic way of life to a Roman style of living. That is the inspiration for this poem:

The Hoard

Gentle rain, washing away the dust
Of ages; iron in soil, turns to rust;
As it lies buried; distant ages past
Was hidden there, expected to last
Until the danger had gone away,
And the people return again one day;
Silver and bronze coins, gold bands,
Exquisitely made by artisan hands;
But it was not to be: treasure there
Buried deep, as deep as the fear
That drove its owners, as they fled:
Approaching armies bringing dread;
And yet the memory forgotten, lost:
All that great effort, all that cost,
Never to be seen as the days pass,
The soil turns to weeds and grass;
Thus it remains for so many years,
And then the rain falls, like soft tears,
Dampens the earth, and on one day,
The detectorists arrive, and they stay,
Patiently covering the whole field,
Waiting for the tell-tale note to yield
Something, rumours of great note:
Just word of mouth, no one wrote
Then or now of what lies beneath
This rough land, this common heath;
Finally, they uncover iron and gold,
And reveal to all this tale untold.