The Crown and Anchor had seats and tables at the front, looking across to where the River Fether ran out into the sea, but there was also an overgrown garden at the back, which Ted Crisp kept saying he was going to get tidied up and open for customers. But all that seemed to happen was that the garden, like his beard and his hair, just got more matted and messy. 'Hardly worth doing,' he said to Carole and Jude, as they looked through the window at the patch that Monday evening. 'Soon be next door to a building site, anyway.'
'What do you mean by that?' asked Carole. The landlord pointed to the crumbling wall of a long, low structure on the other side of the pub garden. 'Old milk depot, that was. Used to be full of tankers and floats. Been empty for five years now. Soon be a nice shooshed-up residential estate, though.' 'Really?' 'Yes, I've seen the plans. Go on, have a guess how many houses they're going to fit on to that site.' 'Eight?'
He gave a derisory laugh. If only. The answer is twenty-four.' "Twenty-four? On that space? Is there a lot of land the other side of the depot?' asked Carole. 'No. What you see is what you get. Within the perimeter of that existing building they are going to fit twenty-four residences. Starter homes, I think they call them. Two bedrooms and a pocket handkerchief of garden each.'
'Garages?' 'No. Won't be room for that.' 'So where are they going to park?' Carole instinctively asked the question any local would ask. Tethering High Street's already jammed solid. If High Tor didn't have a garage, I don't know what I'd do.' 'This is quite funny, actually,' said Ted, as he led them gloomily back across to the bar. 'Or at least it would be funny, if it weren't so bloody insane.'
'Right. OK, well, what I'm about to tell you is government policy - if that's not a contradiction in terms. You've probably heard there's a housing shortage in the south-east?' 'Yes' 'So, the various possible solutions to that are: build new towns; extend the outskirts of existing towns and villages; start nibbling away at the Green Belt. But no. What the government, in its wisdom, has decided to do is not extend the area of existing housing, but to develop brown-field sites.' 'Like the old milk depot?' 'Exactly, Carole. And on these sites they want a greater density of housing.' 'More people living per square metre?' 'That's the idea, yes. But, of course, if you're going to do that, then you've got to keep the footprint of each house pretty damned small. No room for fripperies like garages.'
Carole, the proud Renault-owner insisted, 'where are the new residents supposed to put their cars?' Ted Crisp grinned sardonically. 'Ah, now this is the clever bit. This is where the government suddenly does a little nod to the green lobby.' He pronounced his next words as though imparting the secret of life. 'Apparently, the fact that the new residents have nowhere to park will encourage them to make greater use of public
transport!'
'But public transport round here's dreadful,' Jude objected. 'Yes,' Ted agreed. "That is the small miscalculation the government has made. You'd think they'd realize they'd got the whole thing arse-about-face. The sensible plan, a naive person might imagine, would be first to get good public transport, then build houses without garages to attract people without cars. But no, that's not the way this government does things.' He ran an exasperated hand through his beard. 'Don't get me started on this government.' 'Still,' he went on savagely, 'all be good news for the developers, won't it? They'll get a very cushy ride indeed - as ever. Nothing like a nice housing boom to boost the building trade, is there? Lots of profit for the developers, and the builders, and the decorators, and the plumbers, and the electricians, and their attendant army of local planners, and solicitors, and accountants and Uncle Tom Cobleigh and all."
- The Hanging in the Hotel, Simon Brett, 2004
This is a work of fiction, a very good detective story, with lots of humour and twists and turns - Simon Brett is a master of his craft.
But it was only about a year ago that Senator Freddie Cohen as Minister for Planning was saying that new housing - particular flats in St Helier - did not need car parking space, because that would encourage people not to own cars, and use public transport instead. Had Freddie been reading "The Hanging in the Hotel"? Or is it just that - like the Government in this book, Freddie wanted to make "a little nod to the green lobby".
As regards any lack of parking for flats out in the country, it is a non-starter. Perhaps Freddie should take the bus on a few occasions from St John to St Helier, especially at night or at weekends to see how deficient the service is for residents out of St Helier.
I notice that with the recent development at St Lawrence that this applied, even though there is a "shared public amenity car park area", the parking per house is not 100%. As the report noted:
The objectors remain concerned that only 57% of the proposed homes have garages and this issue was raised at the recent Public Hearing. In my report on the previous application, I commented that "ideally, applicants should aim to provide a garage for every family home". However, it is important to recognise that the provision of garages is not a requirement of the development brief, as long as suitable storage sheds are provided for bicycles and other domestic paraphernalia.
It reminds me of lifeboats and the Titanic! The bus service past St Lawrence is not quite as bad as that to and from St Johns, although it is much barer on a Sunday, and the nearby shops are hardly within walking distance so that unless you want a wheelbarrow, for a family with children, and a weekly shop, a car is needed more than in St Helier. As the Simon Brett story has it absolutely accurately - "And on these sites they want a greater density of housing. More people living per square metre? But, of course, if you're going to do that, then you've got to keep the footprint of each house pretty damned small. No room for fripperies like garages."
As for the sizes of many modern houses and flats, Freddie Cohen has said that the minimum has now been increased, so it will be interesting to see if any new housing developments will have little more than "two bedrooms and a pocket handkerchief of garden each."
Who will buy them in the economic downturn is another matter, of course, unless they can persuade the Minister for Housing to do all in his power to boost house sales, as for instance in trying desperately to lower the age for qualifications. In the book, everyman who is anyone in the town belongs to the "Pillars of Sussex", a philanthropic organisation whose membership includes developers, politicians, police, lawyers and newspaper editors! I'm off to the library to get another book of his; I can't wait to see what the next synchronicity between fiction and fact will be!
'What do you mean by that?' asked Carole. The landlord pointed to the crumbling wall of a long, low structure on the other side of the pub garden. 'Old milk depot, that was. Used to be full of tankers and floats. Been empty for five years now. Soon be a nice shooshed-up residential estate, though.' 'Really?' 'Yes, I've seen the plans. Go on, have a guess how many houses they're going to fit on to that site.' 'Eight?'
He gave a derisory laugh. If only. The answer is twenty-four.' "Twenty-four? On that space? Is there a lot of land the other side of the depot?' asked Carole. 'No. What you see is what you get. Within the perimeter of that existing building they are going to fit twenty-four residences. Starter homes, I think they call them. Two bedrooms and a pocket handkerchief of garden each.'
'Garages?' 'No. Won't be room for that.' 'So where are they going to park?' Carole instinctively asked the question any local would ask. Tethering High Street's already jammed solid. If High Tor didn't have a garage, I don't know what I'd do.' 'This is quite funny, actually,' said Ted, as he led them gloomily back across to the bar. 'Or at least it would be funny, if it weren't so bloody insane.'
'Right. OK, well, what I'm about to tell you is government policy - if that's not a contradiction in terms. You've probably heard there's a housing shortage in the south-east?' 'Yes' 'So, the various possible solutions to that are: build new towns; extend the outskirts of existing towns and villages; start nibbling away at the Green Belt. But no. What the government, in its wisdom, has decided to do is not extend the area of existing housing, but to develop brown-field sites.' 'Like the old milk depot?' 'Exactly, Carole. And on these sites they want a greater density of housing.' 'More people living per square metre?' 'That's the idea, yes. But, of course, if you're going to do that, then you've got to keep the footprint of each house pretty damned small. No room for fripperies like garages.'
Carole, the proud Renault-owner insisted, 'where are the new residents supposed to put their cars?' Ted Crisp grinned sardonically. 'Ah, now this is the clever bit. This is where the government suddenly does a little nod to the green lobby.' He pronounced his next words as though imparting the secret of life. 'Apparently, the fact that the new residents have nowhere to park will encourage them to make greater use of public
transport!'
'But public transport round here's dreadful,' Jude objected. 'Yes,' Ted agreed. "That is the small miscalculation the government has made. You'd think they'd realize they'd got the whole thing arse-about-face. The sensible plan, a naive person might imagine, would be first to get good public transport, then build houses without garages to attract people without cars. But no, that's not the way this government does things.' He ran an exasperated hand through his beard. 'Don't get me started on this government.' 'Still,' he went on savagely, 'all be good news for the developers, won't it? They'll get a very cushy ride indeed - as ever. Nothing like a nice housing boom to boost the building trade, is there? Lots of profit for the developers, and the builders, and the decorators, and the plumbers, and the electricians, and their attendant army of local planners, and solicitors, and accountants and Uncle Tom Cobleigh and all."
- The Hanging in the Hotel, Simon Brett, 2004
This is a work of fiction, a very good detective story, with lots of humour and twists and turns - Simon Brett is a master of his craft.
But it was only about a year ago that Senator Freddie Cohen as Minister for Planning was saying that new housing - particular flats in St Helier - did not need car parking space, because that would encourage people not to own cars, and use public transport instead. Had Freddie been reading "The Hanging in the Hotel"? Or is it just that - like the Government in this book, Freddie wanted to make "a little nod to the green lobby".
As regards any lack of parking for flats out in the country, it is a non-starter. Perhaps Freddie should take the bus on a few occasions from St John to St Helier, especially at night or at weekends to see how deficient the service is for residents out of St Helier.
I notice that with the recent development at St Lawrence that this applied, even though there is a "shared public amenity car park area", the parking per house is not 100%. As the report noted:
The objectors remain concerned that only 57% of the proposed homes have garages and this issue was raised at the recent Public Hearing. In my report on the previous application, I commented that "ideally, applicants should aim to provide a garage for every family home". However, it is important to recognise that the provision of garages is not a requirement of the development brief, as long as suitable storage sheds are provided for bicycles and other domestic paraphernalia.
It reminds me of lifeboats and the Titanic! The bus service past St Lawrence is not quite as bad as that to and from St Johns, although it is much barer on a Sunday, and the nearby shops are hardly within walking distance so that unless you want a wheelbarrow, for a family with children, and a weekly shop, a car is needed more than in St Helier. As the Simon Brett story has it absolutely accurately - "And on these sites they want a greater density of housing. More people living per square metre? But, of course, if you're going to do that, then you've got to keep the footprint of each house pretty damned small. No room for fripperies like garages."
As for the sizes of many modern houses and flats, Freddie Cohen has said that the minimum has now been increased, so it will be interesting to see if any new housing developments will have little more than "two bedrooms and a pocket handkerchief of garden each."
Who will buy them in the economic downturn is another matter, of course, unless they can persuade the Minister for Housing to do all in his power to boost house sales, as for instance in trying desperately to lower the age for qualifications. In the book, everyman who is anyone in the town belongs to the "Pillars of Sussex", a philanthropic organisation whose membership includes developers, politicians, police, lawyers and newspaper editors! I'm off to the library to get another book of his; I can't wait to see what the next synchronicity between fiction and fact will be!
Links:
http://www.gov.je/StatesGreffe/MinisterialDecision/PlanningEnvironment/2007/Fields.htm?DisplayReport=true
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