Wednesday 23 July 2014

The Two Philips?

The Two Philips?
 
Do you remember the classic "Mastermind" sketch performed by "The Two Ronnies"? The specialist subject was "Answer the Question Before Last each time." Here's a sample:
 
 
MAGNUS: And so to our final contender. Your name, please?
SMITHERS: Good evening.
MAGNUS: Thank you. In the first heat your chosen subject was Answering Questions Before They Were Asked. This time you have chosen to Answer the Question Before Last each time. Is that correct?
SMITHERS: Charlie Smithers.
MAGNUS: And your time starts now. What is palaeontology?
SMITHERS: Yes, absolutely correct.
MAGNUS: Correct. What is the name of the directory that lists members of the peerage?
SMITHERS: A study of old fossils.
MAGNUS: Correct. Who are David Owen and Sir Geoffrey Howe?
SMITHERS: Burke's.
MAGNUS: Correct. What's the difference between a donkey and an ass?
SMITHERS: One's a Social Democrat, the other's a member of the Cabinet.
MAGNUS: Correct. Complete the quotation, "To be or not to be..."
SMITHERS: They're both the same.
MAGNUS: Correct. What is Bernard Manning famous for?
SMITHERS: That is the question.
MAGNUS: Correct. Who is the present Archbishop of Canterbury?
SMITHERS: He's a fat man who tells blue jokes.
MAGNUS: Correct. What do people kneel on in church?
SMITHERS: The Most Reverend Robert Runcie.
MAGNUS: Correct. What do tarantulas prey on?
SMITHERS: Hassocks.
MAGNUS: Correct. What would you use a ripcord to pull open?
SMITHERS: Large flies.
MAGNUS: Correct. What did Marilyn Monroe always claim to wear in bed?
SMITHERS: A parachute.
 
Something similar, if not quite so funny, happened to Hansard recently, and before I realised what was happening, made me scratch my head in bemusement.  A sample is given below, and as you will see, the questions and answers are all jumbled up, like the Two Ronnies Sketch.
 
Some people are always making accusations against Sir Philip Balhache and Philip Ozouf, but could they somehow be responsible for this in an attempt to confuse the reader, and divert attention away from the Treasury Minister's "black hole"? Could this be a secret conspiracy by "The Two Philips"? You might think so; I couldn't possibly comment.
 
Incidentally, the Greffier has been appraised of the mishap, and a correction will be in place soon, possibly even by the time you read this!
 
Hansard - Answer and Question
 
2.3 DEPUTY M.R. HIGGINS OF ST. HELIER OF THE CHIEF MINISTER
REGARDING THE PEDESTRIAN CROSSING AT MILADI FARM:
 
Question10
Will the Chief Minister request the Viscount to publish all of the guidance material relating to the
publication of a 'désastre' issued by the Viscount's Office, together with the protocols governing
the publication of information about a bankrupt's finances, including when the information can be
given out and who can receive this information stating further when this guidance was promulgated
and last changed?
 
2.4 DEPUTY M.R. HIGGINS OF ST. HELIER OF THE CHIEF MINISTER
REGARDING THE 'EN DESASTRE' PROCESS:
 
Question
Further to the response given on 17th June 2014, will the Chief Minister set out for members the
number of people who have applied for registration cards under the new Control of Housing and
Work (Jersey) Law 2012, breaking down the numbers into the nationality and country of origin for
all those who have applied during the first full year of its operation?
 
2.5 DEPUTY M.R. HIGGINS OF ST. HELIER OF THE MINISTER FOR ECONOMIC
DEVELOPMENT REGARDING REGISTRATION CARDS:
 
Question
Will the Minister provide members with the following information regarding the Jersey Gambling
Commission for each year since it was formed..
 
2.6 DEPUTY G.C.L. BAUDAINS OF ST. CLEMENT OF THE MINISTER FOR
TREASURY AND RESOURCES REGARDING THE GAMBLING COMMISSION:
Question18
With regard to the JEC cable laying through St Clement, would the Minister, as the shareholder
representative, advise -...

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