Sunday, 25 September 2016

In Lighter Vein: Answers To Correspondents

From the 1971 Pilot comes this short humorous piece! As a suitable picture, I thought the Archdeacon, Bishop and Chaplain from the Cathedral of St Oggs would fit the bill!

In Lighter Vein: Answers To Correspondents
by the Revd. P. H. Francis. M.A.

Enquirer: No. An epistle is not the wile of an apostle. It is a letter written by an apostle.

Churchgoer: Yes. The clerical collar originally was a halo. It gradually slipped down, and is now worn around the neck instead of' above the head.

Sportsman: Your theory that the disciplies played cricket in their spare time is based on an incorrect translation of the text. "Peter stood up before the eleven and was bold". Some people think it was "and was bowled". The text "Rachel came out with a full pitcher" may prove that the wives of the Patriarchs played cricket. We have not been able to find this text.

Students: You cannot find reference to early trigonometry in the words. "This wicked generation looketh for a sign". You have been misled by the similar pronunciation of' sign and sine. There are no references to sines, cosines, or tangent: in the bible.

Henpecked: We are interested in your notion that because horses are stopped by saying Wo' to them, the word Woman is really composed of the two words Wo and Man. and came into use because women always stop their husbands going to football matches and doing things the way they want to do. We have suffered in this way.

Young clergyman: It was unlawful by Canon 74 for Anglican clergymen to wear light coloured socks or fancy night caps. But this law has been omitted from the new Canons published in 1964 and 1969. You are therefore now free to wear hideously coloured socks. They can be bought at most hosiery shops. Night caps might have to be specially ordered.

Hopeful: The singing of hymns during church services is illegal, but a common practice. It is however doubtful if you would get a divorce on the grounds that two hymns were sung during the marriage service. But it might be worth trying.

No comments: