The Modern Treasury Minister

A candidate for Treasury Minister addresses the States.

For those who didn't hear it, here is his speech on BBC Radio, ghostwritten by the late William Gilbert and set to a tune by the late Arthur Sullivan....

I am the very model of a modern Treasury Minister
I've come across until this time as really rather sinister
I know I've made mistakes in past, but those are now historical
You can trust me, once again, I say that categorical;
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
It's only just a silly notion that I'm really quite fanatical
I'm very forceful and determined, and always in the news
You may not care that much for me, but I certainly have views
 
I'm very good at speaking, with gift of gab miraculous
I know I come across as someone rather fabulous
In short, although I may seem really rather sinister
I am the very model of a modern Treasury Minister
 
I know our mythic history, Frank Walker and Le Sueur
And I've no time for Le Fondre, that nastly little cur
I always have the last word, a disease called Trickygabalus,
I can U-turn with a swooping motion really quite parabolous;
I'm always moving very fast, and travel murky lanes
It's rather like a tragedy, as plays of Aristophanes
For I can fudge on pension schemes, and one and one is four
And when I cook the books, I can wear a pinafore.
 
For my economics knowledge, I am plucky and adventury,
Brought in hundred pound notes, won't be spent this century
In short, although I may seem really rather sinister
I am the very model of a modern Treasury Minister.