Thursday, 3 April 2014

Limericks from Correspondents

By way of something light-hearted, here are some more limericks on local politics; these are ones that have been sent to me. I've tried to filter out what I consider unacceptable for the lightness of touch I wanted. One I did not understand in the slightest, and a few others I thought were too close to personal attacks on politicians or ex-politicians.
Ian Orchard gave me this one
Sir Pip took electoral reform
To referenda, which he hoped would transform,
The way we elect, but the only effect,
Was a turnout that was barely lukewarm.
Daniel Baugh followed this up:
There was a referendum you see
The public did vote option B
But the people in power
Were bitter and sour
And on reform, they could not agree.
Darius Pearce gave this one, also on the Referendum:
The people of Jersey they informed,
Their states, they were to be reformed
The members deranged,
decided no change
To our wishes they never have conformed
Ian Orchard emailed me these further ones:
Young Sam had designs of the States
Which despite of his lefty wing traits
Came top of the poll,
And came off of the dole
To join with the mob he berates
An environment minister called Rob
Has said it is part of his job
To approve bricks and mortar
For a new finance quarter
This proving himself such a nob!
A Minister known as Ringbinder
Backed a film he considered a blinder
But two-hundred k
Was just frittered away
Come October he'll need a reminder
A Treasury Minister called Phil
Gets some sort of curious thrill
Outa raising our taxes
Yet our benefits axes
Thus reducing our income to nil.
And this one which he sent is just a plain silly sort, but we need those too!
Montfort's an interesting name
And Tadier's also the same
But when put together,
One's not sure of whether
If the parents are really to blame!
(boom, boom!)
Daniel Baugh also sent me this one, which has a nice touch of surrealism in the fourth line
The lefties want things to move forward
But their policies are a little bit awkward
Political parties,
Legalise smarties
And fight until Bailhache is cornered
Charlie Townsend sent these four in:
When the Tourism Shadow Board met
They decided Jersey Tourism was wet
Tourists with buckets and spades
Creak on now with hearing aids
That market is gone for good, I'll bet
An Education Minister was all of a dither
And his policies seemed just to slither
On a new Quennevais School
He never laid down a rule
His plans just seemed to vanish and wither
There was once a Bishop called Tim
Who issued a report on a whim
Caused trouble for Bob Key
And the lady called HG
You'll never find that in a hymn!
A Prison Visitor told a story to the Mail
Of how she had sex in a jail
She got lots of dosh
But was it all tosh?
And just a fund raising tall tale?
So there we have it. Apologies for those I missed out.  I hope this raised a smile or two, even among those who were the subjects of the limericks. And what I want to know is - when will they legalise smarties? I hear they are currently banned as a "Class B Sweet".

1 comment:

Freedom said...

There was a young man called Pip
who wanted to captain the ship
He rose through the ranks
and soon reached the bridge
But the captain he was not to be
he summed up his will
And shouted the captain I'l be
just you wait and see, to a chorus of cheers from his mates
But when the vote came
he held his head in shame
because he had not become captain as yet

to be continued......