Monday, 12 June 2017

Afterword: Maybots and Loonies

Cartoon by Christian Adams

Afterword: Maybots and Loonies

The MayBot

This was an interview by the Plymouth Herald with Theresa May:

The Herald: “Two visits in six weeks to one of the country’s most marginal constituencies – is she getting worried?”

May: “I’m very clear that this is a crucial election for this country.”

TH: “Plymouth is feeling the effects of military cuts. Will she guarantee to protect the city from further pain?”

M: “I’m very clear that Plymouth has a proud record of connection with the armed forces.”

TH: “How will your Brexit plan make Plymouth better off?”

M: “I think there is a better future ahead for Plymouth and for the whole of the UK.”

TH: “Will you promise to sort out our transport links?”

M: “I’m very clear that connectivity is hugely important for Plymouth and the south-west generally.”

It is an extraordinary snippet, and almost looks as if the reporter is interacting with one of those Artificial Intelligence Programs. They are often designed to simulate a human interaction, but don’t actually say anything concrete. It is hardly any wonder that Theresa May began to get the nickname of the "Maybot".

The problem with Theresa May is that she seems to have become so fixated on not revealing anything of her Brexit strategy that her default position is an inability to answer any question. You might bluff your way through the Commons like that, but the country is a harder proposition.

When asked questions about taxation, all she would commit to is to say “We are traditionally the party of low taxation. What I would say is this: judge us on our record”.

Almost word for word, that was what was repeated by Amber Rudd on the Leader’s debate. It’s certainly singing from the same hymn sheet from a vengeance, but the trouble is it sounds like a stuck record.

Official Monster Raving Loony Party

The Official Monster Raving Loony Party is a registered political party established in the United Kingdom in 1983 by the musician David Sutch, better known as "Screaming Lord Sutch, 3rd Earl of Harrow" or simply "Lord Sutch". The "Raving Loony" name first appeared at the Bermondsey by-election of 1983.

The Monster Raving loony party’s manifesto had some really cracking jokes:

We will stand on a platform of free woollen hats for all, so we can pull the wool over peoples eyes.

We will nationalise crime to make sure it doesn’t pay.

Brexit negotiations: Germany will have to pay for all treatment of German Measles, and Spain ditto for Spanish Flu.

Atheism will be given charity status being a non-prophet organization.

We propose to cancel stamp duty…….stamps are expensive enough so we shouldn’t have to pay duty on them.

Besides leap years, there needs to be hop, skip, and jump years.

Parliament will be relocated to Wormwood Scrubs, reducing the commuting costs for most Peers and MPs.

Sir Patrick Moore (1923–2012), the British TV amateur astronomer, was the finance minister of the party for a short time. He once said that the Monster Raving Loony Party "had an advantage over all the other parties, in that they knew they were loonies."

You can't argue with that!

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