In the news....

"As you can imagine, we are all rather cramped in the Chief Minister’s residence", said Lord Snooty, who has just taken up residence in Jersey with his pals. "And where is Charlie Hungerford, I want to meet him".

Information about the Information Spend.

An FOE request reveals that Moneygrab Limited have produced a draft of a glossy brochure which has lots of lovely pictures of the Health Minister, some organs (but not his), and the following explanation:

Organs can be used after people die for other people who are suffering organ failure..

• It is currently voluntary to opt in to donate organs
• It will be voluntary to opt out not to donate organs
• Organs will include liver, kidney
• They are not currently used in Steak and Kidney pies in the new Hospital food. 
• They will still not be used in Steak and Kidney pies in the new Hospital food. 
• That's it, folks!

An invoice for £20,000 has been sent to the States for payment.

Will they run themselves ragged running round the ragged rocks? Probably not, because the ragged rocks have been depleted. Dr John Renouf would like those stolen to be returned "They are not rolling stones," he said, "just jaggered ones".

The new "knowledge" test will be conducted on the roads, so that potential taxi drivers show that they know how to get from A to B when there is diversion through C, D is closed for resurfacing, E is having emergency repairs done, F has too many potholes for the suspension, and a tree has just fallen across G. And H is a yellow brick road with size limitations.

"This is a much more realistic test," said Minister Eddie Noel, "as the new knowledge involves knowing how to navigate the various obstacles and pitfalls placed in roads by the Department of Infrastructure".

But do gulls who steal food face prosecution for feeding themselves?

"Future Hospital Plan: Take 2" is the prequel to "Reasons to be Cheerful: Take 3". Released by the late Ian Dury, it shows the Blockheads rising to the sky near Patriotic Street. Lyrics as follows:

Future Hospital Plan: Take 2"
One Two
Is Andrew Green a wally, with a working folly
Good golly this folly, costing golden groats
Cost-a-lot this Palait, No In House Buffet
Bigger footprint alley, add cash in groats

Senator Andrew Green is very pleased with the plans. "They said I needed a bigger footprint", he said. The Senator's new footwear can be seen below.