Memories of the Kitchen

I recently was tidying up and came across an Mensa Magazine from 1985, edited by Ken Webb. Ken was a both a personal friend, and at one time an "accredited journalist". Older Islanders may remember him presenting the sports news on Channel Television's local news programme. We worked together for a number of years on "Thinks!", the name he gave to the Channel Island Mensa magazine, with himself as editor, and myself as assistant editor.

Here's a piece he wrote about his memories of working in hotel kitchens as a young man, and it is interesting that I use almost exactly the method he suggests for boiling eggs - I place the egg in cold water and bring to the boil, rather than placing it in boiling water. The difference is that I used a very clever colour small half-sphere of Perspex, placed to boil with the eggs. It starts off red, and gradually turns yellow, from the outside in, and is graded for different consistencies of boiled egg. I use it along with a circular device which you press on to push in a circle of tiny blades, and which opens the top of the egg perfectly every single time.

I've added one other piece from the page. The magazine was printed as an A5 booklet, and if the text didn't quite fill a page, rather like Reader's Digest used to, Ken would add some small quirky detail to fit it exactly - I've left one of those there too after the kitchen memories.

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MEMORIES OF THE KITCHEN
By Ken Webb

I was born in an hotel (owned by my great Aunt who died last year aged 103!) and spent the first thirty years of my life in various family hotels.

Naturally I was trained to be an hotelier. Being the son of the boss, training was NOT easy. My father believed that, unless you could do every job in the hotel as well as did the staff you employed, you had no right to call yourself an hotelier: "If the chef throws a tantrum at August Bank Holiday week-end and walks out, you step into the kitchen and the only comment from the guests should be that the food is better than ever."

The staff, naturally, made it hard going for me, knowing as they did, that should I complain to my father I would receive scant sympathy. Training was old-fashioned, thorough, practical and merciless. One example will suffice. The head chef, a small, bad-tempered but brilliant Italian, placed a metal spoon into a pan of boiling fat, took it out, and placed it straight on the back of my hand - I bear the scar to this day!

"You have been burned by boiling fat", said the Mussolini of the Kitchen, "Now you will take good care, that you will never be burned by boiling fat again." How right he was - but what a way to learn!

That is how things were in the "good old days". Nowadays the parents of the kitchen apprentice would rush off to the Police, have the chef arrested and taken to Court and charge with causing grievous bodily harm, or some such nonsense.

When you have undergone training as vigorous as existed pre-war, you do not forget readily all you have been taught and, despite having left the Hotel business thirty years ago, I venture to pen a few little tips- dredged from the innermost depths of my memory which may (or may not!) prove to be of some use.

1. To get that egg yoke just right and to avoid cracking the shell and losing egg white, just place the egg in cold water, bring to the boil, and allow to simmer for three minutes. If eggs are kept in a refrigerator it is better to take them out half an hour before you need to use them in order that they may gradually reach the temperature of the room. (In the boiling of eggs the shell sometimes cracks. This is due to the violent change in temperature causing the air inside the egg to expand too rapidly.)

2. To avoid tears when peeling onions, bite on a large crust of dry bread and breath through your mouth.

3. To make sure you get the best out of your herbs, do not chop them on a board as the board will absorb the juices. Use the bottom of an upturned dinner plate or, better still, snip them finely with a pair of scissors into a glass. What is not used will keep fresh if the glass is placed into a refrigerator.

4. If you wish your mashed potatoes to be really light, never mix with cold milk. Hot milk beaten into hot potatoes with a dash of baking powder or Bicarbonate of soda will ensure success. Incidentally, a piping bag will do wonders for your presentation.

5. To preserve your favourite frying pan in pristine condition (ALL chefs have a favourite frying pan, especially for omelettes), NEVER wash it in water. Wipe it - while still hot  with kitchen tissues. If necessary a small sprinkling of salt on the tissues will remove any stubborn crusting on the pan's surface. Finally a wipe with a fresh tissue on which you have placed a few drops of oil. Ideally, store your favourite pan in a brown paper bag. This will prevent rust as the paper absorbs the moisture and steam found in a kitchen.

6. To ensure your buttered (scrambled) eggs are done to perfection, use a porringer or improvise a form of double cooker. It is most difficult to judge the texture of the eggs if they are being cooked on a direct heat. A pan of water with an upturned dish placed in it will do for a double cooker and has the advantage of your being able to see how the water is boiling. Use for all egg bound mixtures and delicate sauces.

WHAT IS LIFE?

The Russians  as always  are advancing further claims of the longevity enjoyed by those who have the great good fortune to live under the benevolence of the Communist State.

The latest example is of a man who it is claimed, has attained the age of 110. When asked to what he attributed his long life, he  said it was due entirely to the fact that he had never touched drink, tobacco or women. When is he going to start living?

The Way the Future Was - Part 4

This is the final posting from the report of the 1984 Mensa Conference at Cambridge, by Paul Johnson, and written up for "Thinks!", the Channel Island Mensa Magazine edited by Ken Webb, with assistant editor being myself.

This week the ZX Spectrum is 30 years old. Back in 1984, it was newly released, barely 2 years old. The successor to Sir Clive Sinclair's ZX81, introduced colour "high resolution" graphics and sound, and an extended version of Sinclair Basic. It sold for an impressively low £125 for the basic model with 16 kilobytes of RAM, or £175 for the 48k model!

The world of 1984 had a lot of optimism in the ability of technology to solve problems, but matters often didn't turn out quite as expected. We do have computers that are "able to speak and understand commands" - but they are not perhaps where the Mensa bunch thought they might be, in the home, like Robbie the Robert. Instead, they are to be found in the voice recognition systems at the end of a telephone, which gives you options, and asks you to speak clearly. That voice recognition would turn out to be one of the most irritating advances in technology was not foreseen!

I remember reading, in the late 1970s, a copy of Andrei Amalrik's book "Will the Soviet Union Survive Until 1984?". It seemed solid, and yet it ended so abruptly. This is something that the Cambridge conference didn't contemplate at all, that internal strains might see its demise. And no one pretty well could see the rise of militant Islam back in 1984.

They are also remarkably optimistic about famine, which "will be much reduced". Sadly this is not the case. The situation today is just as bad as in 1984, not least because corrupt dictatorships or civil wars across Africa mean that aid cannot get through, or get siphoned off. Some does get to its destination, but countries which were rich in producing their own crops - like Zimbabwe - have seen a decline under dictatorships where land is a prize to be stolen and handed out, the spoils of victory, to people who often can't farm or know how to farm well.

Lastly, I have not found anyone else to use the word "mensating" for Members of mensa getting together. It is, however, a word to be found in the Mandingo language. I've not been able to find out what it means, but this sentence:

Maninka, Meninka, Mandingo MNI Katuko Alla ye dunya kannu nyinyama, an'ading wulu kiliring di, mensating mo-o-mo men lata ala, ate tinyala barri a si
balu abadarbag sotto.

is the Mandingo version of:

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

MENSA AT CAMBRIDGE
Report by Paul Johnson

4th August

During the morning we were shown the results of the poll taken the afternoon we arrived. It consists of two groups, one of the 110 mensans at the conference, one of 500 randomly chosen telephone subscribers. In general mensans were significantly more optimistic about the rate of technological progress and the kind of world it will produce.

In the afternoon we split into five groups. Four of these looked at the Horsemen of the Apocalypse; Death, War, Famine and Pestilence. The fifth looked at computers and artificial intelligence. After two hours of discussion each group reported its findings. They were generally optimistic.

Computers and special purpose robots will replace the servants of the last century, and be able to speak and understand commands.

Wars will not be nuclear. The superpowers will try to build defenses against the opposition weapons and attack by meddling in third world politics.

The plagues of today will be conquered, but will be replaced by others. There was a suggestion that the Eastern Block countries are developing diseases aimed at certain areas of the population and that AIDS might be one such.

Famine will be much reduced if not eradicated through education and birth control, It was pointed out that if you feed five hundred starving people for ten years, you get one thousand starving people.

That evening "Whoops Apocalypse" was shown, The black humour on the suggestion by Chris Lee of "war by accident" was funny and sobering at the same time.  Afterwards I discovered a disco in the College Pub, which was broken up by the management at 1.30 am.

That was Mensa at Cambridge, 1984. I found it an intensely stimulating experience. In this report I have only been able to record the lectures and social events. The rest of the time, taken by informal discussion with other delegates and "mensating" in the truest sense of the word, was the most important part of Mensa at Cambridge. The Old Hall had the motto "Floreat Domus" painted on the walls. We say "Floreat Mensa".

The Way the Future Was - Part 3

This is a third posting from the report of the 1984 Mensa Conference at Cambridge, by Paul Johnson, and written up for "Thinks!", the Channel Island Mensa Magazine edited by Ken Webb, with assistant editor being myself.

The biologist who gave the talk here was Brian Ford, who is still around today, with a string of fellowships and awards to his name; he also publishes on scientific issues for the general public and has been a populariser of science on TV for more than 40 years. He has a mischievous iconoclastic streak which led to him deliberately giving one of his books the longest and most complex title in English-language publishing history:

Nonscience and the Pseudotransmogrificationalific Egocentrified Reorientational Proclivities Inherently Intracorporated In Expertistical Cerebrointellectualised Redeploymentation with Special Reference to Quasi-Notional Fashionistic Normativity, The Indoctrinationalistic Methodological Modalities and Scalar Socio-Economic Promulgationary Improvementalisationalism Predelineated Positotaxically Toward Individualistified Mass-Acceptance Gratificationalistic Securipermanentalisationary Professionism, or How To Rule The World,

The point of the title was to poke fun at those who conceal their lack of real expertise by using long and complicated words, whilst making the serious point that more people are fooled by these so-called experts than really should be. The book is commonly referred to simply as Nonscience, which is itself a play on nonsense. (1)

It was not surprising perhaps, that he should clash with Clive Sinclair over Artificial Intelligence. The 1980s saw the rise of the dominant mythology of our day, which is still present today, that the human brain resembled a complex computer. A biologist would see the large gap between the complexity of biology, and the model so rapidly (and uncritically) seized upon by the home computer pioneers such as Clive Sinclair.

What is machine intelligence? The cleverest definition of "artificial intelligence" was devised by one of the cleverest computer scientists to have lived, Alan Turing. He suggested in 1951 a test which he called "The Imitation Game". It has the beautiful simplicity that one might expect from a mathematician, and it neatly does away with the appearance of the machine, which is irrelevant to the problem:

The first version of the game he explained involved no computer intelligence whatsoever. Imagine three rooms, each connected via computer screen and keyboard to the others. In one room sits a man, in the second a woman, and in the third sits a person - call him or her the "judge". The judge's job is to decide which of the two people talking to him through the computer is the man. The man will attempt to help the judge, offering whatever evidence he can (the computer terminals are used so that physical clues cannot be used) to prove his man-hood. The woman's job is to trick the judge, so she will attempt to deceive him, and counteract her opponent's claims, in hopes that the judge will erroneously identify her as the male.

What does any of this have to do with machine intelligence? Turing then proposed a modification of the game, in which instead of a man and a woman as contestants, there was a human, of either gender, and a computer at the other terminal. Now the judge's job is to decide which of the contestants is human, and which the machine. Turing proposed that if, under these conditions, a judge were less than 50% accurate, that is, if a judge is as likely to pick either human or computer, then the computer must be a passable simulation of a human being and hence, intelligent. The game has been recently modified so that there is only one contestant, and the judge's job is not to choose between two contestants, but simply to decide whether the single contestant is human or machine. (2)

Clive Sinclair in the 1970s and early 1980s was always dreaming of a better computer that would rival the human brain. This was, after all, the person who gave the world the Sinclair ZX81, which the advertising blurb stated could do "quite literally anything, from playing chess to running a power station"! In fact, as the Guardian notes, somewhat tongue in cheek, it was a hobby toy for games for boys:

Things really took off when the ZX became the Spectrum in 1982, and colour games such as Jet Set Willy became the second major activity in teenage bedrooms. (3)

It is strange to notice that he has now turned his back on computers, and uses  the telephone in preference to email. In an interview, he told the reporter how he doesn't use modern PCs. Is it really laziness, or perhaps a lingering jealously at the machines that drove his own valiant little Heath Robinson efforts out of existence?

And what computer does he now use himself?
"I don't use a computer at all. The company does."
"So you don't do email?"
"No. I've got people to do it for me."
"If friends and family want to communicate?"
"They can do that. We've got a computer in the front office, but I get someone to do it for me."
"That seems odd to me. Why is that?"
"Sheer laziness I think. I can't be bothered."
"Do you not know how to operate it?"
"I do know how to, but I don't."
"Sorry to press, but it seems the simplest thing in the world to do your own emails."
"Well I find them annoying. I'd much prefer someone would telephone me if they want to communicate. No, it's not sheer laziness - I just don't want to be distracted by the whole process. Nightmare."

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MENSA AT CAMBRIDGE
Report by Paul Johnson

3rd August

The morning lecture was from Brian Ford, a microbiologist. He was concerned with futurology as much as with the staggering variety of living organisms. He did mention a very strong doubt that machines could ever rival their complexity, and showed slides of various microbes with primitive eyes and nervous systems to support this.

Sir Clive disputed this point of view, and I joined the lively argument over this after the lecture.

The afternoon was given over to Professor Ian Barron, head of INMOS, the government electronics firm. He talked of how Sir Clive's dream of a "meta-computer" might be brought about and went on to talk about the latest chip his company has produced. It is effectively a computer on a single chip, complete with communications to other similar "transputers", a small memory and a 32 bit architecture (current computers use 8 or 16 bits). It can handle several jobs at once, and if it went too slow, more chips could be hooked in and the jobs shared between the old and the new.

He also talked of the way these chips are designed. The usual way is to construct a circuitry which looks as if it should work, and then to test it exhaustively. At INMOS, mathematical languages are used to prove that
there are no bugs, a quicker and more reliable approach.

During the afternoon Victor Serebriakoff held a "Think-in"; an unstructured discussion on the broad subject of artificial intelligence. Discussion ranged over many topics, including the possibility that machines might be able to have souls.

That evening Sir Clive held what he euphemistically termed a "garden party" at his Cambridge house. It started off with a barbeque and buffet supper, and continued with the Kings College singers giving a very enjoyable concert, and a disco which broke up at about 1.30 a.m.


Links
(1) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brian_J._Ford
(2) http://www.psych.utoronto.ca/users/reingold/courses/ai/turing.html
(3) http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2010/feb/28/clive-sinclair-interview-simon-garfield

The Way the Future Was - Part 2

This is a second posting from the report of the 1984 Mensa Conference at Cambridge, by Paul Johnson, and written up for "Thinks!", the Channel Island Mensa Magazine edited by Ken Webb, with assistant editor being myself.

The film Terminator had come out in 1984, about a future society in which machines, programmed for war, and with artificial intelligence, had taken over the world. Chris Lee's Mensa talk on power politics shows just how much a part of the culture this thinking was.

In fact the scenario of machines making decisions too quickly for human beings to take control back has come to pass - but not in the field of the military. Rather, it is the clever computer programs, designed to make split-second decisions, that are undoubtedly one of the major factors in having a stock exchange that is so volatile.

In September 2011, Computerworld UK Magazine ran a feature on "Algorithmic stock trading rapidly replacing humans, warns government paper":

Algorithmic trading, including high frequency trading (HFT), is rapidly replacing human decision making, according to a government panel which warned that the right regulations need to be introduced to protect stock markets. Around one third of share trading in the UK is conducted by computers fulfilling commands based on complex algorithms, said the Foresight panel in a working paper published yesterday. Nevertheless, this proportion is significantly lower than in the US, where three-quarters of equity dealing is computer generated. (1)

The panel concluded that there was no direct evidence of causality, but that the programs could increase volatility and cause massive damage:

There was "no direct evidence" that the computer trading in itself increased volatility, it said, but in specific circumstances it was possible for a series of events with "undesired interactions and outcomes" to occur and cause massive damage. One such event is self-reinforcing feedback loops, whereby small changes, perhaps driven by data delays or news events, loop back on themselves and trigger a bigger change, which again loops back. Another event, normalisation of deviance, is more psychological: unexpected and risky events come to be seen as ever more normal until a stock market crash occurs.(1)

Of course, part of the credit crunch was bundling of "toxic debt", mortgages and loans that could not be repaid, and that was a human decision. But when the market began to panic, the computer systems, with built in programs, made the matter worse with a rapidity that would not have been as likely in 1984.

Sir John Butterfield's vision of future dangers in health care is interesting. He is partly right in his assessment of behavioural diseases, but quite why he puts "speed" - by which is clearly meant going fast, rather than drug use - is not clear.

Again the films of the 1980s may provide a clue. The film Cannonball Run (1981) and Cannonball Run 2 (1984) show that there speeding was considered the kind of sport you might do for fun and the adrenalin rush. The Road Traffic Regulation Act of 1984 shows that speed was high on the agenda. Outside of Top Gear, however, and the odd lunatic speeder - one was clocked in Jersey at over 100 mph - most people don't get a kick out of speeding; they are far more concerned about limiting the amount of petrol they use.

What he fails to spot, which would become an increasing issue, is obesity and obesity related diseases - heart, arteries and diabetes. These - rather than speeding - would be the major behavioural killers of our decade.

Sir John Butterfield, OBE, FRCP (1920-2000) was a leading British medical researcher, clinician and administrator. He was in fact a specialist in diabetes, although he clearly he did not spot that as an obesity related disease in 1984:

In the course of his studies of burns he noted that a significant number of patients with burns developed a form of temporary diabetes akin to steroid diabetes. His interest in diabetes began with this study and continued throughout his career. He is credited with pioneering automated chemistry to measure blood sugar. He also organized a large-scale epidemiological study of diabetes in Bedford.(2)

Mensa at Cambridge shows how difficult it is for even experts in the field to predict future trends, and perhaps only H.G. Wells has achieved anything like success in this field with The Land Ironclads (1903) which envisaged tanks in a World War I scenario and "The World Set Free" (1914) in which he predicted a kind of nuclear weaponry.

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MENSA AT CAMBRIDGE
Report by Paul Johnson

2nd August

During the morning we heard Chris Lee give a very sobering talk on defence and power politics. He felt that war was becoming too technical, and that by 2020 the machines will make all the tactical decisions. The commander will have a flood of information and a button marked "ABORT". As an example he cited the case of H.M.S.Sheffield. By the time the captain realised he was under attack, the ships computers had sounded the alarms and fired radar chaff. Before anything else could be done the missile hit.

The wars themselves will be more likely to start by accident, with a border skirmish resulting from misunderstanding and escalating into a nuclear exchange. A full scale exchange would be unlikely. Instead a few cities would be destroyed and then peace talks start.

After the lecture I spent 1/4 of an hour trying out the Sinclair QL installed in the Erasmus Room. This room had been set up as a "Hospitality Suite" with free snacks and drink all day. After that I went punting with some friends. With seven of us in the boat there was very little freeboard. We borrowed a bottle of wine and some glasses from the Erasmus room and took turns trying to steer a straight course along the river. No one fell in, but I nearly lost the pole. Twenty minutes after setting off, the heavens opened, so we took hurried shelter under a bridge. Even then we got soaked. Fortunately we had not gone in period costume as planned.

After lunch we heard from Professor Sir John Butterfield on health care in the future. He is of the opinion that the big killers of the present day will grow even larger in the future. These are the behavioral diseases; smoking, drinking, drugs, speed in any form and gambling. Therefore the biggest growth will have to be in health education; teaching children why these occupations are dangerous.

Organisations such as ASH and the Anonymous societies are a start, but much more will be needed.

Instead of evening dinner, a barbeque was held behind the college pub. I spoke to Madsen Pirie who was very pleased with the press coverage we had received, especially articles in national papers and local television.

Links
(1) http://www.computerworlduk.com/news/networking/3302464/algorithmic-stock-trading-rapidly-replacing-humans-warns-government-paper/
(2) http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2194391/pdf/tacca00004-0060.pdf

The Way the Future Was - Part 1

I will admit from the first that this title is a steal from the great science fiction writer Frederick Pohl, who in fact also has a blog with this title - it was also the title for his autobiography, which I have in paperback form. So credit where it is due, and here is a link to his blog.

http://www.thewaythefutureblogs.com/
http://www.thewaythefutureblogs.com/about/

However, this posting is isn't about science fiction, it is a report of the 1984 Mensa Conference at Cambridge, by Paul Johnson, and written up for "Thinks!", the Channel Island Mensa Magazine edited by Ken Webb, with assistant editor being myself.

In the early 1980s, the impact of the desktop PC was only starting to make inroads, with three main rivals - the IBM PC, the ACT Sirius, and the DEC Rainbow. The States of Jersey splashed out to get desktop computers on what was then quite a substantial number of managers desks, and of course, with the benefits of hindsight, the DEC Rainbow was not the way to go.

I was using a DEC PDP-11 Minicomputer, a machine the size of a small filing cabinet, and later on a Commodore 2000 (the business end of the Commodore range). Schools were using BBC Micros, and the small computer magazines were awash with a mass explosion of pcs, like the Orac (named after a computer in the TV show Blake's 7) and the Einstein. Father to these was Clive Sinclair with his ZX-81. Rather like the Cambrian explosion, there would be a mass extinction of all these models by the end of the decade.

Mensa at Cambridge looked to the year 2020, which is barely 8 years off. Amusingly, there was also a Medieval banquet! But how are the predictions doing?

Clive Sinclair is right about price, but that's about it.

Prestel (abbrev. from press telephone) was the brand name for the UK Post Office's Viewdata technology, an interactive videotex system developed during the late 1970s and commercially launched in 1979. It achieved a maximum of 90,000 subscribers in the UK and was eventually sold by BT in 1994.

The advent of the internet meant that centralised data stores, like Prestel or Compuserve, faded away and were replaced by a greater spread of data rather than centralisation. Home computers that teach and chat to the children were a staple of science fiction - Asimov has a short story called "The Fun they Had" in which a child wistfully imagines what it was like to be taught in classrooms. But it has turned out to be a pipe-dream, and while computer related educational resources are available - mostly often online - they are passive, written by human beings; there is no intelligent computer as educator.

Dr Madsen Pirie's guesses are also way out. Government, if anything, has become more intrusive and larger, rather than lessening and fading away. Most children are not taking degrees in their early teens, and people are not rocketing about. International travel has probably improved, but the security checks don't make it quite as easy as local commuting. But then who could have foreseen the rise of militant religious terrorism?

It's instructive to compare this with science fiction writer Robert Sheckley's "Prize of Peril" (1960), in which contestants compete in increasingly dangerous reality TV shows for the enjoyment of an audience which likes to watch people being put through what are exercises in sadism. Sheckley is extrapolating to make a point, but his view of human nature, jaundiced though it may be, produces a world much closer to our own than the utopian fantasies of Sinclair or Pirie.

Moulain was dark and intense, and chewed gum as he talked. "You'll do," he snapped. "But not for Hazard. You'll appear on Spills. It's a half-hour daytime show on Channel Three."
"Gee," said Raeder.
"Don't thank me. There's a thousand dollars if you win or place second, and a consolation prize of a hundred dollars if you lose. But that's not important."
"No, sir."
"Spills is a little show. The JBC network uses it as a testing ground. First and second-place winners on Spills move on to Emergency. The prizes are much bigger on Emergency."
"I know they are, sir."
"And if you do well on Emergency, there are the first-class thrill shows, like Hazard and Underwater Perils, with their nationwide coverage and enormous prizes. And then comes the really big time. How far you go is up to you."

I'm a Celebrity, anyone?

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MENSA AT CAMBRIDGE
Report by Paul Johnson

A question that often arises about Mensa is "What do you do?" The answer is that "We Mensate". That is, we argue about any problem that takes our fancy. In the process, we exercise our minds and point out any holes in the thoughts of others. This is what Mensa at Cambridge is about. It was conceived five years ago by Professor Sir Clive Sinclair, Chairman of British Mensa, and has now become something of an institution.

In 1948, George Orwell looked ahead thirty six years in his book "1984", with a description of a totalitarian state. The date was not intended seriously; he merely transposed the last two digits of his own year. Despite this, Mensa at Cambridge also looked ahead thirty six years to 2020, with the general theme that we will have intelligent machines by then.

I am not writing about each lecture and discussion in detail. Transcripts will be available from International President Victor Serebriakoff, and further argument will no doubt appear in the British Mensa Journal. Instead this is a summary of the thoughts of each speaker, as well as a diary of the other events during the conference.

Although I am attempting to keep my own views out of this report, some of what is written stems from discussion with the speakers. As a result, coverage is uneven and reflects my personal interests more that the importance of the speakers' views.

31st July 1984

I arrived at Queens College, Cambridge at 1.50 p.m. Registration started at 2.00 p.m. with the signing up and the handing out of badges and room keys. The badges were holograms of an eye (symbolising Big Brother), with a tab stating the conference and the wearer's name.. We also had to fill in a questionnaire on our views of the future. After a cup of tea I went with three other delegates to hire costumes for the Medieval Banquet on 1st. August.

That evening,- an icebreaker party was thrown in the Queens College Old Hall, not that the ice needed breaking after the afternoons talking.

1st August

After breakfast, Sir Clive gave a lecture on the future of the computer. He estimated the number of synapses in the human brain at 10 to the 14th. Extrapolating the advances in computer technology since 1964, a computer of similar complexity in 2020 will cost the equivalent of £1,000.

He christened this device a "meta-computer". It will be-able to converse in English and will come to know intimately the family it "lives" with, teaching the children and advising on health, finance and law from a central Prestel style database.

Several members of the audience expressed fear about a computer educating the children and advising on health care but Sir Clive pointed out that the computer will do these jobs far better than a human can, and there will be no need for children to stop socialising because they no longer learn at school.

After an excellent buffet lunch, Dr Madsen Pirie described his predictions about life as a whole in 2020. He said that the broad economic trend on 2% growth per annum will continue and that "doomwatch" predictions are wrong. He then concentrated on trying to predict the society of 2020.

Family life will lessen; there will still be one house to one family but individual members will be more independent. Britain will have become a sub-contracting society, with firms of two to six people employing other firms to do specialised jobs.

For instance a car manufacturer will employ firms of researchers, designers, technicians, and eventually salesmen when launching a new car. Thus the employer-employee relationship we know today will fade away, to be replaced with clear contractual obligations up and down.

There will be a number of new sports, mostly connected with flying, children will be taking first degrees in their early teens thanks to the educational computers, and international travel will be as easy as local commuting.

The government will fade away as there ceases to be anything for it to govern. Local communities will look after their own affairs.

That evening the Medieval Feast was held in the Old Hall. Roughly half the delegates had hired period costume, giving a genuine atmosphere to the proceedings. Entertainment was provided by a quartet of close harmony singers. Sir Clive wore his scholar's robes, Victor Serebriakoff looked like Falstaff, and I went as court jester, complete with six inch nose and wry-necked fife (Distant Recorder) with which I made a complete fool of myself. We ate without forks, admired the serving wenches and got drunk on mead.

It could only happen - part 2

"The reward of a thing well done is to have done it yourself!"  (Emerson)

After "It could only happen in America", as promised, I've redressed some of the balance.

This follow on piece comes  the 1984 edition of "Thinks", here's a lighter piece from the editor, Ken Webb.

The quotation at the top of this page is a "filler". Quite often there would be a small amount of space left which was not filled in the magazine, and Ken and I would look for some suitable quotation to fill it. Emerson is a good source of these, and my personal favourite is "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds,  adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines".

I came across it with a preface to a story by Isaac Asimov called "The Dying Night", and loved it ever since. It is a perfect put down to pettifogging nit-pickers.  He wrote:

Some years before this next story was written, two colleagues and I joined forces in writing a large and complicated textbook in biochemistry for medical students. We spent days-literally-on the galley proofs, and frequently we came across minor inconsistencies. We would spell a chemical one way here and another way there; here a hyphen and there no hyphen; here one phrase and yon an alternate.

We despaired of getting everything perfectly concordant and one of us finally said, 'To quote Emerson: "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds."' We latched on to this with ebullient joy and thereafter, whenever the proof-reader questioned a small inconsistency, we would write 'Emerson!' in the margin and let it go.

So here now is the extract from "Thinks!":

---

IT COULD HAPPEN ONLY IN THE SOVIET UNION

Russians ban Trots

Soviet authorities have ordered Western Embassy staff to stop jogging in the streets of Moscow. They claim it was disrupting the city's normal life!

Running too fast for the K.G.B. to keep up with them?

IT COULD HAPPEN ONLY ON THE CONTINENT

A not so fast lady

A couple making love in a carriage of the Orient Express delayed the train for some forty minutes. She caught her foot in the emergency brake!

Coitus interruptus?

IT COULDN'T HAPPEN HERE

2p or not 2p.

A subject of some delicacy is the usage of a Loo - particularly when the Loo in question is in a space capsule - more particularly when there is a crew of both sexes - yet even more particularly when it does not function!

Such was the problem which recently faced the American Space Administration. They spent some months overcoming the deficiency at a cost of ten million dollars.

To think we still call it spending a penny!

IT DID HAPPEN HERE

As though we men did not know.

Some interesting facts have come to light in the recent discussions on providing new Telephone facilities in the Channel Islands.

Do you know that every man, woman and child in Jersey makes on average 650 phone calls a year? The comparative figure for Guernsey is 590.

This will come as no surprise to men with teenage children - hence the reason they can never make a call on their own telephone.

It also leaves we men wondering how - with the length of each call made by children and spouse - there could ever be sufficient hours in the year.

It could only happen in America

As the darkling skies fled before the deepening dusk, and the sun went to its slumbering sleep behind the cityscape of sheer and vivid rectanguloid outlines, glimmering in the gloom, and the sodium lights began to shine with sulphurous yellow, I decided to post this piece from the 1984 edition of "Thinks", here's a lighter piece from the editor, Ken Webb.

My American friends should take note that it was followed by other "It could only happen..." shorts on other countries which will be inflicted on the readers of this blog tomorrow. So they don't need to feel singled out!

The worst opening of a novel has been suggested as "It was a dark and stormy night" by Victorian novelist Edward Bulwer-Lytton, 1st Baron Lytton at the beginning of his 1830 book "Paul Clifford". The rest goes on:

It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents - except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.

The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest named after the aforementioned opening was started in 1982 by Professor Scott E. Rice, Professor of English at San Jose State University. The first year got only three entries, but when it went public in 1983, it got  10,000 entries. Here is Ken's report of that year:

IT COULD ONLY HAPPEN IN AMERICA!

A professor of English from the State University of San Jose, California, organised a competition for the worst opening sentence of a novel.

Strange to relate, there was world wide interest and no fewer than 10,000 entries flooded in. (Editor of "THINKS" please take note!)

An American (who else) won the first prize for this abysmal effort:-

"The Camel died suddenly on the Second Day, and Selena fretted sulkily and, buffing her already impeccable nails - not for the first time since the journey began - pondered snidely if this would dissolve into a vignette of minor inconveniences like all the other holidays spent with Basil."

My personal preference was for the entry of the winner of the second prize, an Englishman, who commenced a spy novel as follows:-

"It came to him in a cocaine rush as he took the Langley exit that if Aldrich had told Filipov about Hancock only Tulfengian could have known that the photograph which Wagner had shown to Maximov on the jolting S-Bahn was not the photograph of Kessler that Bradford had found at the dark, sinister house in the Sehillerstrasse the. day that Straub told Percival that the man on the bridge had not been Aksakov ..." .

He managed to keep going for a few more score words before coming - mercifully - to the all important full stop.

Such was the international flavour of this competition the third prize winner hailed from West Germany. How's this for a snappy start to a romantic novel?

"She flung her feverishly disquieted body onto the cool camnbrie of the Waldorf Astoria bed and knew, oh yes, sobbingly knew, that her love was lost, that her pearly teeth absent heartedly , in a sense, began gnawing the silky pillow her golden dreams had so recently lavishly blossomed on."

There's hope for the Editor yet.

Days of the Doily

One from the back catalogue today, from "Household Hints", an article which appeared in "Thinks!" back in the 1980s when I was assistant editor.

Incidentally, the same book cover graces a modern revamp -"Classic Household Hints: Over 500 Old and New Tips for a Happier Home" which is currently selling on Amazon. I imagine they've modernised some of the recipes, and almost certainly will not have the details below for afternoon tea.

A lace mat - as mentioned below - was often termed a doily (or doilie). These were ornamental mats, originally the name of a fabric made by Doiley, a 17th-century London draper. Often these would be crocheted and sometimes knitted out of cotton or linen, but lace doilies were also manufactured, and can still be found for sale today on ebay.

I love the precision of the afternoon tea

Arrange cups on their respective saucers with handles at right angles to the rim of the tray.

This was clearly intended for middle class people, of the kind described in Miss Marple books, where a maid comes round to help each day to homes in Mary St Mead. One can imagine the same lady doing afternoon tea as that described by Cecil Parkinson in his book "Parkinson's Law":

It is a commonplace observation that work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion. Thus, an elderly lady of leisure can spend the entire day in writing and despatching a postcard to her niece at Bognor Regis. An hour will be spent in finding the postcard, another in hunting for spectacles, half-an-hour in a search for the address, an hour and a quarter in composition, and twenty minutes in deciding whether or not to take an umbrella when going to the pillar-box in the next street. The total effort which would occupy a busy man for three minutes all told may in this fashion leave another person prostrate after a day of doubt, anxiety and toil.

So if you are retired, have plenty of time on your hands, and neighbours to invite round, here are a few tips...

LIFE PRE-WAR

Our Puzzle-setter, Tony, is something of a "book-browser" and second hand book shops have a fatal fascination for him. One of the treasures he discovered recently was a pre-war edition of "Household Hints". Here is an extract to bore you - amuse you - or bring back happy memories, depending on your age.

Afternoon Tea

1 All preparations must be completed beofre your guests arrive.-

2. In Autumn or Winter, draw the curtains and light the room with candles.

3. Have an adequate supply of little tables.

4. Cover each table with a lace cloth laid cornerways.

5. Place lace mats on tables to receive plates.

6.  Your tray should be oblong, though oval shows off a service well. Silver is most attractive, copper next, then lacquer. Failing this a carved wooden tray of polished mahogany.

7. Arrange cups on their respective saucers with handles at right angles to the rim of the tray.

8. Arrange plates in a pile with lace serviettes,folded triangularly, beside them. As you pour out, lift plate, lay serviette on it, place cup and saucer on top, and pass to your guest.

9. Tea Service should consist of silver spoons, tea knives, pastry forks and tongs and a lemon knife
- always have a dish of lemon slices ready for those who prefer lemon to cream.

10. Serve China as well as Indian tea. Fresh tea must be brewed when two cups have been served for
your guests.

The bad old days?

Some further and quite informative snippets:-

Potatoes

To make floury:- Add a teaspoon full of vinegar for each pint of water in which old potatoes are cooked,
after they have been boiling for 15 minutes

To mash lightly:- Add a pinch of baking powder when mashing. Beat well.

To bake quickly:- Stand potatoes in hot water for 15 minutes before baking.

Potato water:- Use when making bread dough. The bread will stay fresh longer. Use instead of water
for making gravy or stock.

Potato peelings:- These are to be dried and used for kindling.

Incidentally the price of this fascinating tome was originally 2/6, or 12 1/2p in today's money - the price of a bag of crisps! What Tony paid for it second hand, he's not telling. However it really is a treasure house of information.

Don't Panic - Write a Report

From "Thinks!", the Channel Island Mensa Magazine, 1985, comes a comedy of errors...

DON'T PANIC - WRITE A REPORT
 
We are indebted to Pamela Clarke Salmon a Guernsey Member for this absolute gem.
 
The following report is from a Ship's Master!!!
 
It is with regret and haste that I write this letter to you, regret that such a small misunderstanding could lead to the following circumstances, and haste in order that you will get this report before you form your own pre-conceived opinions from reports in the world press, for I am sure they will tend to overdramatise the affair.
 
We had just picked up the pilot and the apprentice had returned from changing the "G" flag for the "H"  and, it being his first trip, was having difficulty in rollowing up the "G" flag. I therefore proceeded to show him how. Coming to the last part, I told him to "let go". The lad, although willing, is not too bright, necessitating my having to repeat the order in a sharper tone.
 
At this moment the Chief Officer appeared from the Chart room, having been plotting the vessel's progress, and, thinking that it was the anchors that were being referred to, repeated the "let go" to the Third Officer on the forecastle. The port anchor, having been cleared away but not walked out, was promptly let go. The effect of letting the anchor drop from the "pipe" while the vessel was proceeding at full harbour speed proved too much for the windlass brake and the entire length of the port cable was pulled out "by the roots". I fear that the damage to the chain locker may be extensive. The braking effect of the port anchor naturally caused the vessel to sheer in that direction, right towards the swing bridge that spans a tributary to the river up which we were proceeding.

The swing bridge operator showed great presence of mind by opening the bridge for my vessel. Unfortunately, he did not think to stop the vehicular traffic, the result being that the bridge partly opened and deposited a Volkswagen, two cyclists and a cattle truck on the foredeck. My ship's company are at present rounding up the contents of the latter, which, from the noise, I would say were pigs. In his efforts to stop the progress of the vessel, the Third Officer dropped the starboard anchor, too late to be of practical use, for it fell on the swing bridge operator's control cabin.

After the port anchor was let go and the vessel started to sheer, I gave a double ring Full Astern on the Engine Room Telegraph and personally rang the Engine Room to order maximum revolutions astern. I was informed that the sea temperature was 53 degrees and asked if there was a film tonight; my reply would not add constructively to this report.

Up to now I have confined my report to the activities at the forward end of the vessel. Down aft they were having their own problems.

At the moment the port anchor was let go, the Second Officer was supervising the making fast of the after tug and was lowering the ship's towing spring down onto the tug.

The sudden braking effect on the port anchor caused the tug to "run in under" the stern of my vessel, just at the moment when the propeller was answering my double ring Full Astern. The prompt action of the Second Officer in securing the inboard end of the towing spring delayed the sinking of the tug by some minutes, thereby allowing the safe abandoning, of that vessel.

It is strange, but at the very same moment of letting go the port anchor, there was a power cut ashore. The fact that we were passing over a "cable area" at that time might suggest that we may have touched something on the river bed. It is perhaps lucky that the high-tension cables brought down by the foremast were not live, possibly being replaced by the underwater cable, but owing to the shore blackout, it is impossible to say where the pylon fell.

It never fails to amaze me the actions and behaviours of foreigners during moments of minor crisis. The pilot, for instance, is at this moment huddled in a corner of my day cabin, alternatively crooning to himself and crying after having consumed a bottle of gin in a time that is worthy of inclusion in the Guinness Book of Records. The tug captain, on the other hand, reacted violently, and had to be forcibly restrained by the Steward, who has him handcuffed in the ship's hospital, where he is telling me to do impossible things with my boat and crew.

I enclose the names and addresses of the drivers and insurance companies of the vehicles on my foredeck,
which the Third Officer collected after his somewhat hurried evacuation of the forecastle. These particulars will enable you to claim for the damage that they did to the railings of the No. 7 hold.

I am enclosing this preliminary report, for I am finding it difficult to concentrate with the sound of police sirens and their flashing lights.

It is sad to think that had the apprentice realised that there is no need to fly pilot flags after dark, none of this would have happened.

For weekly Accountability Report I will assign the following Casualty Numbers T1750101 to T1750199 inclusive.

Yours truly,
Master.





that there is no need to fly pilot flags after dark,
none of this would have happened.

For weekly Accountability Report I will assign the
following Casualty Numbers T1750101 to T1750199
inclusive.

Yours truly,
Master.

Belt Up 1984 - Part 4

July 1984 saw the publication of the first edition of "Thinks!", the Channel Island Mensa Magazine.

The editor Ken Webb, decided to mark the launch with a topical debate - on seat belts. He was annoyed that the JEP motoring correspondent seemed to be lobbying for seat belts rather than having an informed debate about the advantages and disadvantages, and giving equal time to protestors.

In the second edition, two people replied, Rod Bryans (who is standing for election this year) and second was Andrew Christensen. Bryans argued that the government had a democratic mandate to govern, and therefore the government's decision is final.

In the third edition, this debate came to a close with two letters. In one, Gregory Stevens-Cox challenges this thinking, and also provides a critique of the way in which statistics can be spun - those same statistics upon which both Bryans and Christensen placed so much weight. He also demolishes Christensen's argument that injuries from not wearing a seat belt causes extra costs to the taxpayer, and therefore it should be implemented.

The effects of seat belts is lessened by air-bags which are fitted in most modern cars. He doesn't say what "better techniques for preventing injuries" are, but perhaps he had this in mind.

The other letter by Ena Irwin addresses, in  a humorous way, the fact that seat belts are really designed with men in mind. This issue has not really been addressed (apart from the S-Clip, which I don't think ever went into production) , perhaps because all the motor enthusiasts tend to be men. If Jeremy Clarkson had breasts, Top Gear would probably look into it.

On a more serious note, a number of medical journals report that seat belt trauma to breasts after accidents can cause fat necrosis in breasts. Of course that is a better risk than a broken neck and glass in your face, but it shows how the design of seat belts could do with improvement for women.

SEAT-BELTS
Contributed by Gregory Stevens-Cox

The seat-belt issue is far from being as simple as Bryans and Christensen would seem to suggest. May I make the following brief comments, just a few of many points that should enter any evaluation of the matter.

1. The statistics of the Minister of State for Transport are quoted by both your correspondents, with the conclusion "at this rate 2500 people are alive in July 1984 who would have died (statistically) had they not been made to wear seat-belts in the previous months". Linda Chalker & Co. are here possibly falling into the logical fallacy known to philosophers as post quod ergo propter quod (after which therefore on account of
which).

A simple form of this fallacy is the housewife's statement "I did my washing yesterday so of course it rained half an hour later". To express this in another way, I am surprised (and dismayed) that the DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE campaign of the government did not prevent a single injury or death - despite the millions of pounds spent on advertising and the (rightly) harsh sentences meted out to convicted offenders.

2. The Adams report some years ago studied the effects of seat belt legislation in some countries. The conclusion was that in some countries there had been a decrease, in others an increase, in fatal and serious accidents. The report also suggested that there was some evidence to suggest that drivers wearing seat-belts drive slightly faster than previously.  (Seat-belts = confidence = faster speeds)

3. Drivers who do not wear seat-belts tend to sustain dreadful facial injuries (from the broken glass of the windscreen). Drivers who wear seat-belts tend to sustain chest and stomach injuries which are often not as serious as the facial injuries. Seat-belt wearers sometimes suffer the "whiplash" effect which breaks their neck.

4. A great deal of pressure for seat-belt legislation came from the motor-car industry. There are some much better techniques for preventing injuries but these would be expensive and would add perhaps £500 - £1500 to the retail price of cars. Moreover the initial tooling-up would be very expensive for car manufacturers. It is therefore not difficult to see the industry had an interest in the debate.

5. The fact that a government is elected democratically does not logically entail that its decisions are democratic.  This is a difficult topic; see John Stuart Mill's writings.

6. Christensen's thesis about the cost of accidents to the taxpayer can equally be applied to mountaineering, smoking and drinking. Are we going to be consistent?

I have been thinking about seat-belts for some years. On balance I think that the odds are somewhat more favourable for the wearer (see point 3 above) . I only wish that the advocates of the seat-belt would recognise that the issue is complex; that it involves important matters of political ethics; that the statistical evidence is not simple; and that the opponents of compulsory seat-belting are not simple minded loons. A Mensa journal is the
one place where we should hope to have a sensible discussion.

SEAT-BELTS AND SHAPE
Contributed by Ena Irwin

The seat-belt must have been designed by a man for 'it fits comfortably across a firm and evenly padded
male chest. Now some of you sharper eyed gentlemen may have noticed that women are not evenly padded. In fact, they are padded on each side of the chest.

Seat-belts don't fit women and no amount of wriggling and adjusting helps. One side or the other gets squashed.

In my case as I am very large as well as unevenly padded, it is only with great determination that I can get the damned thing done up at all. Then I am pinned tight to the seat unable to take a deep breath; this renders me speechless. (And that doesn't happen often!)

While this strange silence is a bonus for my husband, it leaves me with the thought that it must be possible to design a seat belt with lumps in mind.

I don't use mine, I prefer to breath and let fate take its course.

Belt Up 1984 - Part 3

July 1984 saw the publication of the first edition of "Thinks!", the Channel Island Mensa Magazine.

The editor Ken Webb, decided to mark the launch with a topical debate - on seat belts. He was annoyed that the JEP motoring correspondent seemed to be lobbying for seat belts rather than having an informed debate about the advantages and disadvantages, and giving equal time to protestors.

In the second edition, two people replied. The second was Andrew Christensen whose letter is reprinted below.

In Jersey, the most recent change to legislation was the wearing of seat-belts in the back of cars. States members agreed to the new law in March 2008, and this brought the island in line with the rest of Europe.

Philip Blake, from the Road Safety Panel, commenting on the law said: "In Jersey, on average, every three years at least one person has been killed in the rear of a vehicle who wasn't wearing a seatbelt. Many others who didn't wear a seat belt have been seriously injured. Making everyone wear a seat belt will reduce the risk of serious injury for those involved in crashes."

While the States agreed to the change in law in March 2008, it didn't actually get to the Statute books until April 2009, when it was passed by a Ministerial Order by Constable Michael Jackson. I have been unable to ascertain why there was a such a long delay. It seems that the previous Minister for Transport, Deputy Guy de Faye, who lost his seat in the November 2008 Elections, may have been dragging his heels on bringing the changes forward.

A few facts on seat belts and their history, which begins in the United States of America:

The first seat belts were not installed in cars by auto manufacturers. Early automobiles did not go particularly fast, and there were relatively few cars on the road. As the number of motor vehicles increased, so did the amount of danger. In the 1930s, a number of physicians, seeing the results of traffic accidents, lobbied car makers to create some sort of restraining device to keep people from being thrown from a car in an accident. Several doctors actually designed their own lap belts and installed them in their autos. It was not until the 1950s that seat belts began to appear with some regularity. In 1954 the Sports Car Club of America began to require drivers to wear lap belts as they raced. Soon afterward such groups as the National Safety Council (NSC), American College of Surgeons, and International Association of Chiefs of Police issued their own recommendations for the manufacture and installation of seat belts. The Swedish auto manufacturer Volvo began marketing lap belt in 1956; that same year both Ford and Chrysler decided to offer lap belts as well. Seat belts were not required by law, though, in the United States until 1968.

And now the Mensa article:

SEAT-BELTS .- WHO DECIDES?
Contributed by Andrew Christensen

Dear Ken,

The intention of this letter is to take you to task over your ' defence. of the individual's right to choose to wear a seat belt. Yes, I am all for the rights of the individual and for freedom of choice. Notwithstanding that, certain facts speak for themselves, and in the case of the wearing of seat belts these facts speak loudly. Straight forward - the possibility of suffering, serious injuries or even death while wearing seat belts during driving is greatly reduced. It has taken legislation with the threat of penalties to considerably increase the percentage of car users who use seat belts. The real threat of death or serious injury, even reinforced by dramatic advertising was simply not enough.

In a recent House of Commons reply, Mrs. Lynda Chalker, Minister of State for Transport, stated that at present 95% of front seat occupants are wearing seat belts, compared with under 40% prior to legislation being introduced. In the first twelve months of compulsory wearing, there has been a reduction of over 7,000 fatal and serious front seat casualties compared with the previous twelve months.

At the same time, road traffic increased by slightly over 4%.

One final sobering thought is that the present estimated cost to the taxpayer of ONE fatal traffic (motorway) accident is £257,000. Though I would think the cost of a fatal accident on Victoria Avenue is slightly less, the cost in human terms is just the same.

If measures can be taken which do positively reduce the human and financial expense of a road accident, then those measures should be welcomed and not frustrated.

Anyway, I shall wish you many more miles of, hopefully, accident free driving.

With best wishes,

Andrew Christensen.

Links
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/jersey/7294687.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/jersey/7978801.stm
http://www.enotes.com/everyday-law-encyclopedia/seat-belt-usage

Belt Up 1984 - Part 2

July 1984 saw the publication of the first edition of "Thinks!", the Channel Island Mensa Magazine.

The editor Ken Webb, decided to mark the launch with a topical debate - on seat belts. He was annoyed that the JEP motoring correspondent seemed to be lobbying for seat belts rather than having an informed debate about the advantages and disadvantages, and giving equal time to protestors.

In the second edition, two people replied. The first was Peter Bryans whose letter is reprinted below. It is interesting how some of the arguments that Peter Bryans brings to bear have a modern twist.

Consider former Deputy Gerard Baudains, who is standing again for Deputy in St Clements is vociferous in his opposition to a 30 mile per hour speed limit. Not one for mincing words, he tells us that "once again the Nimbys & Tree huggers have managed to inflict their ill-conceived ideas on others."

Gerard Baudains has his own unique argument for reduced speed limits causing accidents:

How does a reduced speed limit cause more accidents? It's not rocket science. At 40mph a driver is watching the road ahead (or the majority are) - looking to see if a pedestrian is about to exit his / her property onto the road - or a car about to pull out. Maybe some children are on the pavement and playing around as children do. So the driver is prepared.. Now take 30mph. The driver is frustrated. The journey needlessly takes longer as he knows he could safely go faster. In fact, so little is happening so slowly that he resigns himself to 'autopilot' mode, just staring at the back of the vehicle in front and no longer studying the road ahead. Why should he look ahead? It'll be ages before he gets there. All a recipe for accidents.

Really, one has to wonder if a driver is so frustrated that he drives on autopilot whether he should be out and about on the roads at all - perhaps a retake of a driving test would be a good idea! Driving without due care and attention is an offense - has Mr Baudains read the Highway Code recently? How a difference of a mere 10 mph could mean "ages before he gets there" in an Island that is 9 miles by 5 miles is beyond me. If he really wants frustration, perhaps he should try rush hour traffic in St Helier around 9.00 am, when traffic crawls along at between standstill and 5 mph. A clear run, at 30 mph, is not going to take that long, nor be that frustrating! The drivers who speed and would like more than 30 mph will probably zoom along at 45 mph in a 40 mph zone; one passed me on the way in from St Brelade doing around 50 mph on a clear road. What's needed is for measures to prevent speeding, and deterrents for those who are so careless of the speed that they endanger other road users and pedestrians.

Like a conjuror, Gerard Baudains pulls figures out of his hat to support his case:

The 30 signs had only been up a few days when there were three serious accidents, including a fatality.

In fact, this is the same kind of anecdotal evidence that Peter Bryans is talking about. The global statistics for 30 mph show a decrease in accidents, but there will, as he points out, always be the rogue statistics, the outliers, which are snapped up eagerly by the News of the World (when it was being published), and Gerard Baudains today!

In today's JEP, I see that a man has been charged with dangerous driving after a crash along St Clement's Coast Road. Does Gerard Baudains serious think that raising speed limits will prevent this kind of event?

SEAT-BELTS - WHO DECIDES?
Contributed by Peter Bryans

I must congratulate the new editor for conceiving a splendid plan to elicit a response from our generally silent readers. By choosing to write a deliberately provocative article, which brilliantly plumbed the pinnacles of banal naivety, he has demonstrated that at least one member of Mensa (me) will respond to an article which is intentionally lacking in objectivity, common sense and academic irrelevances such as facts and proof.

He asks a simple question - WHO DECIDES? On issues which affect all members of a community, single individuals could only be allowed to make their own individual decisions if we lived in a society of anarchists. Because we live in a democracy the answer had got to be that the government elected by the community decides, after listening to and evaluating all points of view. This decision is then given the force of law to protect the innocent and persuade the ignorant.

A simple fact (which Ken very cleverly omitted so as to generate controversy where there need otherwise be none) is that since the wearing of seat-belts became compulsory in the U.K. the number of road deaths and serious injuries has decreased dramatically (a 31.23% overall decrease and a 28.72% decrease in areas governed by a 30 m.p.h. speed limit) (Jul - Dec 1983). Put another way, at this rate 2,500 people are alive in July 1984 who would have died (statistically) had they not been made to wear seat belts in the previous months.

However, I am sure that investigative reporters angling for a career with the News of the World will eventually demonstrate that someone, somewhere has died because they wore a seat belt - just as instances can be shown of a pilot who was strangled by his own parachute, a Farmer whose skull was fractured by his tractor's safety cab and a hospital patient who had died from the side-effects of a "miracle" drug. All of these instances don't mean that we should ban parachutes, safety cabs, life saving drugs or seat belts - just that God sometimes has a sense of humour.

Mensa brains must be shown to be capable of supporting democratic measures (even paternal dictatorships) which demonstrably save large numbers of lives in the community. Membership of Mensa does not allow us to drink and drive, survive car crashes seat-belt less with impunity or walk on water.

Remember the cemeteries are full of people who knew better than to wear seat-belts - although their widows and orphans have now learnt by sad experience, that collective wisdom was better than their loved ones individual decisions. Ask them WHO DECIDES? they never got the chance.

Editor's Note:
Upon Peter's views I will not comment. On his attack on my personal integrity I most certainly will. He made an erroneous and unwarranted presumption as to my motives for writing the article. I do not use a subject affecting the lives of my fellow humans for the triviality of eliciting a response from Members. Some years ago my life was saved because I was NOT wearing a seat-belt. I would like everyone - including Peter - to have the same choice. That was my sole motive.

Belt Up 1984 - Part 1

July 1984 saw the publication of the first edition of "Thinks!", the Channel Island Mensa Magazine.

The editor Ken Webb, decided to mark the launch with a topical debate - on seat belts. He was annoyed that the JEP motoring correspondent seemed to be lobbying for seat belts rather than having an informed debate about the advantages and disadvantages, and giving equal time to protestors.

It seems strange to imagine now, because we are so used to seat belts as part of our way of life. But back in 1984, the debate was happening in Jersey, and legislation was not on the statute books. TV campaigns had been run in the UK since 1971 and seen in Jersey on television, where popular presenter from "Top of the Pops" and "Jim'll Fix it", Jimmy Saville exhorted motorists to belt up with the slogan "Clunk Click Every Trip". Nostalgia buffs can watch one - which makes clever use of an egg and a tin box - here:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=fremvsJnSTM

What is fascinating is that the same kind of argument - which is basically a libertarian one that citizens should be free to make their own informed judgments - resurfaced, albeit in a slightly different guise, when cycle helmets were an issue. For the record, I didn't agree with Ken, despite the fact that not wearing a seat belt saved my sister's life on one occasion.

The piece by Ken was intended to provoke a response, and it did. Later, I'll post the replies that came in the next issue.

THE SMOKE SCREEN by the Editor.

So someone in the Jersey Evening Post decided it would be a good thing if every motorist in Jersey be forced to wear a seat belt. There followed a highly pressurised campaign all designed to convince people that wearing a seat belt is always a good thing. Of course, under certain circumstances it is good, it can save your life or prevent serious injury. But why has no mention been made of the other side of the coin? That, under different conditions, seat belts can kill you or seriously injure you. The duty of a responsible journal is to inform the public not to attempt to brainwash it. A good journalist reports the news, he does not try and make it.

Now, led by the nose, the Jersey States is to introduce a law forcing each motorist to wear a seat belt - even if it kills him/her! I object to legislation promoted by a newspaper irresponsibly taking advantage of its monopoly position. That there exist in Jersey people who, from their ivory towers of ignorance, have the arrogance to play at being God with your life and with mine - this I find most worrying. Only you know the circumstances of your driving - the type of car; its condition; your reflexes; re-action time; alcohol intake; speed of driving, etc. These decide the conditions of the crash. Seat belts play no part in the cause or prevention of crashes - they operate for good or ill only at impact.

Let us dispose of the smoke screen. The argument is not if seat belts are good or bad, they can be both. The only point to consider is:- "WHO DECIDES?" You who know, or those who do not know? I drive a large, heavy estate car. I sat and considered the problem. If involved in a crash I face a ball of fire; a steering wheel going through me; my going through the windscreen. With a large engine and a heavy chassis in front of me and a petrol tank tucked away in the back, I reasoned that the probability of a ball of fire was not great; the probability of being impaled on the steering wheel was also not great; the probability that I hit the windscreen was greater. Knowing the facts I formulated a judgement - seat belts are fitted and I wear them. But that is my judgement and, I believe, it is an intelligent one.

The second car I drive is a light, rear engined run around. There is nothing in front of me but an empty space and a petrol tank six inches from the front bumper. The probability of a ball of fire is much greater; the probability of being impaled on the steering wheel is also much greater; the probability of contact with the windscreen remains the same. On balance I believe that I am better off not wearing a seat belt in this car and I do not. My judgement - my life - my decision.

Remember, seat belts can be both good and bad. Which ? - no one knows !

The issue is a very simple one:-

WHO DECIDES ?

You after an intelligent appraisal,

or

THE IGNORANT APEING THE ALMIGHTY ?

The Editor requests your views. (He can duck ! )

Friday Funnies

I've been trawling through the archives again, and as it is Friday, it's time for jokes. Here are a few timeless jokes from "Thinks!", the Channel Island Mensa Magazine, edited by Ken Webb, dating from 1984.

TO DO - OR NOT TO DO?
Jos Smuts du Toit, Cape Town Mensa

In these days of escalating costs one may be tempted to tackle repairs oneself in order to save the exorbitant cost of calling in a repair man. As a word of warning to the budding do-it-yourselfer, it should be borne in mind that the following immutable DIY Laws apply:-

Law No.1. Any DIY job requiring ten minutes work is always preceded by two hours of labour which has to be done because "someone" has a) borrowed, stolen or lost the necessary tools, or b) broken the step-ladder giving the only access to the job, or c) used up the last of the paint/sandpaper/cement, and the shops are closed for the week-end.

Law No.2. Any appliance requiring repair has been previously repaired with "x" screws; (x - 1) screws can be removed without difficulty, but the final screw can only be removed by effecting the total destruction of the appliance itself. This is the manufacturers' trick known as "screwing the customer".

Law No.3. No matter how many thousand nuts, bolts and screws of various shapes and sizes the DIY man may have accumulated over a lifetime none of these will fit the appliance to be repaired as the exact nut/bolt/screw required is a) lost, or b) longer, or c) shorter, or d) of larger or smaller diameter, or e) left handed thread, or f) cut with a Patagonian knife-sharpener's patent micrometer thread of variable pitch, the dies for which were all- melted down in 1932.

YOU WIN SOME - YOU LOSE SOME!

The other day, coming out of the bathroom, I noticed a towel on the floor. "I wonder," thought I, "If Webb still has the dexterity he had in his youth?"

I stretched out my foot, caught the towel in my toes, tossed it into the air and caught it with one hand. A gratifying smile spread across my face.

My wife who happened to be passing, made the following comment:-

"You really are getting old. You can't even bend down now."

APPLIED PSYCHOLOGY

The following notice was pinned at eye level in front of every cashier in a certain bank: "To err is human. To forgive is not Bank policy."

NEEDS MUST...

A gentleman found himself in a field confronted by an irate bull. His only avenue of escape was the branch of a tree - unfortunately ten feet above the ground.

With amazing alacrity and no little athleticism he ran and jumped - and missed it! However, he caught it on the way down.

Pub Grub in 1986

In 1986 the BBC launched an ambitious project to record a snapshot of everyday life across the UK for future generations. A million volunteers took part. The BBC has launched the new Domesday Reloaded website which has lots of memories from 25 years ago.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/history/domesday

To celebrate this, I will be posting occasional extracts from 1986 editions of "Thinks!", the Journal of Channel Islands Mensa, on which I worked as Assistant Editor in the 1980s; the Editor was Ken Webb.

In this piece from February 1986, the pseudonymous gastronaut, Yvonne Ronez, reports on the monthly dinner.

Henry Cooper, whom she mentions, was a well known boxer and personality of that time, who died very recently on 1 May 2011. He was a heavy-weight fighter, whose left hook was called "Enry's 'Ammer", and he is most famous for fighting world champion Muhammad Ali (then known as Cassius Clay). The fight nearly ended in Henry winning, had it not been for the chance coincidence of his punch and the bell:

Cooper finally connected and Clay went down. Hard. This was no flash knockdown. Clay was the recipient of a perfecty timed hook and sent reeling into the ropes, his body falling against the middle strand of the ropes on the way to the canvas. As everyone in Wembley jumped to their feet in unison, Clay lay on the canvas for a few brief seconds with a look akin to shock on his handsome face. Clay scrambled to his feet as the timekeeper tolled four. Fortunately for the American, the bell rang just as he got up. Clay had been fortunate in two ways: the punch that floored him came at the very end of the round; the punch that floored him came near the ropes and the ropes cushioned his fall. Under other circumstances, perhaps the outcome would have been different. There's no denying Clay's recuperative powers, but there's also no denying that Clay was more than just dazed. He was hurt. (1)

Clay went on to win, and it was Cooper who was defeated. He later retired from boxing and became almost as well known as a "character" in BBC quiz shows such as "A Question of Sport" and advertisements, notably for Brut aftershave.

The dinner mentioned by Yvonne Ronez took place at La Bourse Pub, which still exists at 8, Charing Cross, St.Helier. A guide notes that: "Located just off the main high street this small ale house has a friendly mix of local and visitors. The pub offers a great selection of beers and lagers along with a cosy atmosphere." The price of £6.95 for three courses plus coffee would probably be around £15.20 today, which would still be extremely good value for money. Unfortuunately I've not been able to find what a meal there would actually cost today, but I suspect it would be more!

Yvonne Ronez Returns!

Well, my little Jersey Wonders, guess who is back. And very glad too - as big, beautiful and bouncing as the US is, I got sick to the back teeth of burgers, brunch and bourbon. So I was rather pleased to be joining everyone on the 1st at La Bourse. Also, having read what that silly old fool, the Colonel, called a feature, I should think you are all pleased I am back too.

One should not be put off by La Bourse's grim green Victorian facade, I know it looks like a film set for Jack the Ripper, but the upstairs restaurant is extremely pleasant. The decor here is also turn of the century but without the clutter, Dark green swagged curtains, mushroom coloured walls and soft but good lighting give the room a pleasant restful atmosphere. Another bonus is that for once we did not have to compete with 40 watts of sound system going full blast. There were some pleasant prints, something Renoirish, a few framed Chinese Government Bonds, a couple of excitable looking ferns, a mother - in - law's tongue, and some other plants which I recognised but can
never remember the names of.

Like many Jersey eating houses, the bar is extremely small. It is also en route to the kitchen and a constant stream of staff bearing laden dishes had us all ducking and weaving like 'Enery Cooper.

We had opted for the table d'hote menu which was arranged not by fish or meat category, but by the length of wording so that It formed a pyramid display.

The starters included such delicacies as oysters, smoked salmon, clams, escargots, ripe melon, and avocado. Then came the soup - hot, thin and complete with croutons, but I was not really sure what the flavour was except it was tasty. This was followed by a warm prawn concoction in a sauce and served in scallop shells. The main course consisted of various types of good steak, veal, Jersey plaice, sole, chicken and trout. To round off, a selection of sweets, and for once I had no room left to try one. The coffee was Rambout, which is nice enough but means you only get one cup. Not that one could complain for the whole meal was only £6-95 and very good value, The house wine was also excellent and
not expensive. All in all a thoroughly good evening.

Links
(1) http://www.eastsideboxing.com/news.php?p=1478&more=1
(2) http://www.measuringworth.com/ukcompare/result.php

The Good Old Days - from 1986

In 1986 the BBC launched an ambitious project to record a snapshot of everyday life across the UK for future generations. A million volunteers took part. The BBC has launched the new Domesday Reloaded website which has lots of memories from 25 years ago.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/history/domesday

To celebrate this, I will be posting occasional extracts from 1986 editions of "Thinks!", the Journal of Channel Islands Mensa, on which I worked as Assistant Editor in the 1980s; the Editor was Ken Webb.

In this piece, Ken Webb looks at Woolworths, which was facing a financial crisis in 1986 which - that time around - it surmounted, largely by closing unprofitable stores. It seems that financial problems were recurring, coming back in cycles, until at last, of course, all the stores closed between 27 December 2008 and 6 January 2009, under the administration of Deloitte's.

I was personally of the opinion that they didn't really make enough of an effort to sell off profitable parts of the company as a going concern, and of course, whether they did so, or simply closed Woolworths down, they still took their administration fees, so there was no direct incentive to keep some stores going. In Jersey, the closure was badly handled due to the lack of any proper compensatory scheme for staff, and an absence of legal redress. A report on the legal hearing in 2 March 2009 noted that:

The Bailiff made clear his concern and displeasure that the joint administrators had been exercising their duties without authority of the Court. Deloitte lawyers argued that as a matter of law they acted as agents of the Company and did not need express sanction of the Court, albeit with a possible risk as to their personal liability more so than if they had been acting under such express authority. However, in order to undertaking conveyancing required registration and that is why their lawyers were in court. The hearing had been due to proceed last Monday and clearly had been delayed as the wrangling and haggling progressed. Deloitte lawyers were reluctant to mention details of what they alleged were commercially sensitive matters and reference to precise financial details was avoided in open court. They were also clearly embarrassed at not having registered sooner, and squirmed at having to be reminded by the Bailiff that the draft Order failed to recite the request for registration in the jurisdiction. The Bailiff granted the Order in the terms set out and had to be called back again to reconvene the Court because the lawyers were still unsure about the precise status of Deloitte and whether the Court had now officially appointed them. It was made clear to Deloitte that their appointment was a limited one to the terms agreed in the Order. Clearly Deloitte have been cavalier in their dealings with the liquidation of Woolworths. They abused the good will of staff who worked hard to sell off all stock in a grand sale, and in doing so raised millions, knowing all along they had no intention of paying redundancy or notice. (1)

Back in 1986, Woolworths was downsizing, but unlike the situation under Deloitte's administration, on this occasion it survived. Nevertheless, part of its problem may have been with the change in its original market position as a "bargain basement", and the shift upwards to more competitive markets. Here is Ken Webb reminiscing on the early days of Woolworths:

The Good Old Days! by Ken Webb

In order to fight a take-over bid and to expand their B & Q outlets, F.W.Woolworth are selling several of their major stores and closing down a further 22 which are unprofitable. I remember the good, old-fashioned Woolies of the old - the very old - days.

When I was a kid, Woolies boasted that nothing in their store sold over 6d, in fact they were known as the "3d and 6d store". Considering that the Woolworth family made millions one wanders how this could be so when the top price was - in modern parlance -- 2 new p. Doubtless something to do with the intricacies of turnover and profit margins.

I recollect as a lad, barely of school age, I had an intense desire for a gramophone but, our family being exceedingly poor, it was but a pipe dream.

Imagine my surprise and delight when, that Xmas, I was presented with my heart's desire. Woolies had done it again! A gramophone for 6d? Well, not quite. The case was 6d (Dad); the clockwork motor 6d (Mum); turntable 6d (Aunt & Uncle); Pick-up arm 3d (Uncle); sound head 4d(Aunt); box of needles 2d (two cousins) - two shillings and three pence all told (11 new p).

How about the records, you might say. Well, Woolies sold them for 3d and 6d each but, family finances being as they were, my source of supply was a second hand shop where you could pick them up for 1d each - scratches and all included!

My present system cost some hundreds of pounds but never gives me the happiness of my first ever -2 shillings and 3 pence at at Woolies.

Such is progress!

Links
(1) http://www.isthisjersey.com/print.php?news.713

Modern Art: Another Opinion from 1986

In 1986 the BBC launched an ambitious project to record a snapshot of everyday life across the UK for future generations. A million volunteers took part. The BBC has launched the new Domesday Reloaded website which has lots of memories from 25 years ago.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/history/domesday

To celebrate this on this blog, I will be posting extracts from 1986 editions of "Thinks!", the Journal of Channel Islands Mensa, on which I worked as Assistant Editor in the 1980s; the Editor was Ken Webb.

For background, I previously had posted a piece from "Thinks!" on Modern Art which I had written under the pseudonym of Dr Gideon Fell, which can be found at:

http://tonymusings.blogspot.com/2009/01/modern-art-opinion.html

In the March 1986 edition, artist, art teacher (at Victoria College Prep), Derrick Rolls (father of famous local artist Ian Rolls) replied.

I agree with much of what Derrick says, and regarding more abstract art, I like the work of the late Robert Tilling, especially his seascapes. But I still think there is something amiss about how art is valued, not by the artist (as in the case cited of Whistler), but by critics who often are speaking absolute nonsense.

The best experimental verification of this was the "blind assessment" when an anthropologist put an "abstract" piece of art in a museum alongside other art - it looked liked colourful scrawls in paint - and gleaned all kinds of interesting comments about what the artist was intending, and what emotions he was trying to portray, also valuing it with a high price tag. It was, of course, painted by a chimpanzee!

Anyhow, here is Derrick on Modern Art:

Modern Art: Another Opinion
Contributed by Derrick Rolls.

In a recent edition of the Mensa magazine "Thinks", there was an article entitled "Modern Art". In some ways think the title is a misnomer. Perhaps it would have been more appropriate if he had called it "Art I Heartily Dislike", if you will forgive the pun!

Modern Art is a term frequently used today, but what on earth does it mean? Does it mean art that has been executed In the last twenty five years or so, or does it mean - as in the case of a modern history book which I have on my shelf entitled "Modern History from 1500 to the present day" - works of Art originating as far back as the sixteenth century? Therefore I suggest the term "Modern Art" is rather vague and valueless, far too general to describe exactly what one means.

The attractiveness of a picture, painting, a piece of sculpture, a watercolour, be it what it may, lies very much In the eye of the beholder. What one person can live with I'm quite sure another would detest. Therefore the true artist paints because he has to. He paints that which he likes; he does not paint, necessarily, for the general public. His art is a very personal thing.

Art has never been solely concerned with the true, the good, the beautiful. Artists throughout the history of Art have depicted the gruesome and the grotesque. One has only to look at the paintings of Bosch (people with weird monsters and torturing demons) or the wood cuts of Durer (depicting apocalyptic prophesies) to have proof of that.

Durer also, incidentally, produced many studies of nature which speak of nothing but beauty and innocence. When an artist exhibits his paintings he is presenting his work to the public, not necessarily for approval but for reaction and that public is no more compelled to like or live with any of the exhibited works than the television viewer is compelled to watch a programme he dislikes.

Since all artists, to some extent, are a reflection of what goes on around then, by necessity, the ugliness must be recorded alongside the beauty, for without the one we cannot know the other.

But to return to the opinion of Gideon Fell: it is not very clear to my mind what kind of "Modern Art" he is referring to because, on re-reading the article I find he does not mention the word "Abstract" at all, which rather surprises me. Most people think of "Modern Art" as the abstract art which one finds so frequently in galleries and exhibitions.

As far as abstract art is concerned, I personally like some abstract art but on the whole, I do not like much of what I see. In fact I think, especially when one hears a painting described or "explained" by an art "expert", much of what is said is the speaker's own opinion which is often very far from what the artist intended. I am quite sure there are the unscrupulous artists whose art is a "big con". They are almost poking fun at the general public and at the same time, I suggest, "laughing all the way to the bank".

It must also not be forgotten, for example, that in the days of the "Impressionists" their work was as evolutionary and detested just as much as some of the art referred to by Gideon Fell. Whistler is the classic case of an artist whose paintings today are considered to be sublime exercises in good taste but in whose day were thought to be extreme and outrageous and an attempt to "con" the public.

E.H.Gombrich in his book "The Story of Art", relates how in 1877 Whistler exhibited nine pieces in the Japanese manner which he called "Nocturnes", asking 200 guineas for each. A critic wrote:- "I have never expected to hear a cockscomb ask 200 guineas for flinging a pot of paint in the public's face." Whistler sued him for libel and the case once more brought out the deep cleavage that separated the public's paint of view from that of the artist. When cross examined as to whether he really asked that enormous sum for 'two days' work, Whistler replied - "I ask it for the knowledge of a lifetime".

Artists ( who are by nature observant and receptive) have always borrowed, and always will borrow, elements from many different sources. These may include tribal art but will almost certainly include art from different cultures which cross fertilise at regular intervals. So when an artist uses elements from the art of a different culture, perhaps even unknowingly, he is not consciously imitating but utilising qualities of colour, shape,
line etc. , which be admires for their own sake. Whistler in particular and the Impressionists in general were greatly influenced by the aesthetic simplicity of Japanese Art but in no way could be accused of imitating another culture's art.

However, on the whole, I cannot help agreeing with much of what Gideon Fell has written. There is a great deal in so called "Modern Art" which I dislike and could not live with. However, there is also much that I find beautiful, colourful and appealing and could live with, quite happily, in my own home.

The Ethics of Leaks: A Matter of Principle?

With the present controversy over Wikileaks, and the whole matter of whether it is justifiable to put confidential information in the public domain, I trawled though my archive this week to an article I wrote for the Channel Island's Mensa Magazine, "Thinks!" in 1987, under the pseudonym Una Nancy Owen (fans of Agatha Christie will spot the reference from her book "And Then There Were None").

I'm not wholly convinced by Wikileaks arguments for transparent government by leaks. I can understand the need of leaks of cases of torture and illegal killings, of the kind that would prompt action by Amnesty International, where there has been a serious breakdown of the rule of law - although one of the problem with Wikileaks is its selectivity - despite the mass of information, it comes from one or two sources, and we don't always know if cases of torture were concealed and deliberately ignored, or whether severe disciplinary actions took place.

Also other parts of the leaks - I was reading a cable about a chat with Van Rompey over Copenhagen, are more to do with expressions of opinion than fact - this is gossip, rather than cutting edge material, and sometimes may have been expressed more freely than would have been the case had it been public. But is that any more than the way in which we may express ourselves in private, where we may use, on occasion, what would be defamatory words against politicians ? Where we may say in private what we could not say in public without being sued? And isn't it because that can function as a form of shorthand between friends, who pick up on what is also not said, and don't need nuances? Where they "fill in the gaps" and don't misinterpret?

What has happened with Wikileaks is that a private mode of discourse has been opened to a wider world, but without being interpreted as such, or due weight given to the lack of nuance and shorthand, and this can be very misleading. Semioticists, please note!

Anyhow, in 1987, Peter Wright published "Spycatcher" which caused a furore with the British Government, and raised all kinds of issues with free speech. The book was banned in the UK, but copies were available in Scotland - and, of course, in Jersey - for tourists and locals alike. Here is my comment on the situation:

A Matter of Principle?
Contributed by Una N Owen

The furore generated in these pages by the publication of Spycatcher seems to be concerned with the following argument: it is wrong for someone to take an oath to keep secrets, and later to break it; conversely, it is right and proper for the British Government to seek to stop Mr Wright publishing, as a matter of principle, and example to others.

This seems, at first sight, to be a fairly good argument. However, there are several factors not mentioned which should be also be considered, and show that the situation is more complicated than it appears.

First, the British Government seems to argue that the breaking of an official oath is wrong; yet in an Australian Court, Robert Armstrong, the Cabinet Secretary, managed to mislead the Court by bending the truth, or as he himself so quaintly phrased it - "being economical with the truth". This was despite the fact that he was under oath to tell the truth. Does "principle" work only one way?

The Government has also argued that details about the business of spying should be kept in secret. However, the Government is quite happy to leak on an almost official basis to an author like Chapman Pincher; as the Australian Judge pointed out, a sizeable proportion of the ground covered by Spycatcher has already seen publication with the approval of the Government!

But quite apart from the matter of principle, the question I sought to consider was whether or not the
British Government should seek to restrict the dissemination of the book in England, when it had already failed to stop publication in the rest of the world. This I regarded, and still regard, as an infringement of free speech.. Now to the British Government, obsessed as they seem to be with secrecy, such a matter as free speech is often treated as frivolous and contemptible.

However, I would ask those who are dismissive of free speech to consider the First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States: Congress shall make no law abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press. This principle was considered sufficiently important to lead to a change in the Constitution, and the Americans still think it most important. Moreover, the absence of free speech and a free press is a charge frequently levied by Western Governments (including Britain) against the oppressive practice of the Soviet Block. Again, this seems to be applied inconsistently: it is fine for the British Government to demand the right to a free press of the Russians, but wrong for British citizens to ask it of the British Government!

Finally, what of the accusation that Mr Wright is lacking in principle. Part of his position seems, in my opinion, to be the modest one of wanting the truth to be found about whether or not Roger Hollis, once Head of MI5, was a Spy. Mr Wright argues that the truth has been evaded in a convenient cover up. As he comments, in 1981, Mrs Thatcher informed the House of Commons that Lord Trend "had concluded that Hollis was not an agent of the Russian Intelligence Service. He had faith in a man's innocence, as I had faith in his treachery; as another man might have faith in God.. One man's view, as I now realize, is in the end worthless. Only facts will ever clear up the mystery." Is this arrogance, or the plea for a proper investigation rather than what appears to be a Government whitewashing?