Intimacy

I spoke with Annie on Monday night, and she was fine, chatting, cheerful, discussing a television programme we had both watched, and then there was a last text at bed time. I never knew that was to be the last phone conversation, and the last text message. There was no warning of the morrow. She had been tired, and her heart caused her problems, but not more than usual. That is why the Tuesday came as such a shock.

When someone you love so deeply is lost, it is as if part of your soul has been torn apart. This poem was written in 2005, the year in which we met. A damp day on the 1st of July, at Big Verne, and by October, we were together.

The photograph above is from the last holiday we had in 2009, in Guernsey, The Fermaine Bay Hotel, which had a special deal for a set menu at the connected Michelin Star restaurant. And she was so happy. It is a bittersweet memory, but one I am so glad to have. All those memories are precious, and all those photos, glimpses of that lost world, bring back such joyful memories.

Regrets for the grief and tears and heart-brake that was to come? No, because then I would have also missed out on my time with Annie. Love and grief are partners in the dance of life, and just to participate in that dance, and not watch from the sidelines, is something for which I have and never will have regrets. Ten years will have passed tomorrow, and I still hold that to be true. And I will never forget her.

Intimacy

Mind to mind, lovers meet

Converse well, ever sweet

Talk so much, more to say

Enjoy such time, every day 

Bound in union, lovers meet

Sensations fine, ever sweet

Hold each other in embrace

Gaze in rapture, face to face 

Heart to heart, lovers meet

Emotions flow, ever sweet

Word can not encompass this

Only feelings, such is bliss

05/10/2005