Friday, 21 October 2011

End of the World?

As Harold Camping has yet another bid for the "end of the world", here is a sketch from the 1961 "Beyond The Fringe".

The cast are Peter Cook, Jonathan Miller, Dudley Moore and Alan Bennett. They are seated, huddled, on the top of a mountain...

Jon :How will it be, this end of which you have spoken, Brother Enim?

All: Yes, how will it be?

Peter :Well, it will be, as 'twere a mighty rending in the sky, you see, and the mountains shall sink, you see, and the valleys shall rise, you see, and great shall be the tumult thereof.

Jon :Will the veil of the temple be rent in twain?

Peter :The veil of the temple will be rent in twain about two minutes before we see the sign of the manifest flying beast-head in the sky.

Alan :And will there be a mighty wind, Brother Enim?

Peter :Certainly there will be a mighty wind, if the word of God is anything to go by...

Dudley :And will this wind be so mighty as to lay low the mountains of the earth?

Peter :No - it will not be quite as mighty as that - that is why we have come up on the mountain, you stupid nit - to be safe from it. Up here on the mountain we shall be safe - safe as houses.
Alan :And what will happen to the houses?

Peter :Well, naturally, the houses will be swept away and the tents of the ungodly with them, and they will all be consuméd by the power of the heavens and on earth - and serve them right!

Alan :And shall we be consumed?

Peter :Con..sum..éd? No, we shall not be consuméd - we shall be up on the mountain here, you see, while millions burn, having a bit of a giggle.

Jon :When will it be, this end of which you have spoken?

All: Aye, when will it be - when will it be?

Peter :In about thirty seconds time, according to the ancient pyramidic scrolls... and my Ingersoll watch.

Jon :Shall we compose ourselves, then?

Peter :Good plan, Brother Pithy. Prepare for the End of the World! Fifteen seconds...

Alan :Have we got the tinned food?

Dudley :Yes.

Peter :Ten seconds...

Jon :And the tin-opener?

Dudley :Yes.

Peter :Five - four - three - two - one - Zero!

All :(Chanting) Now is the end - Perish The World!

A pause

Peter :It was GMT, wasn't it?

Jon :Yes.

Peter :Well, it's not quite the conflagration I'd been banking on. Never mind, lads, same time tomorrow... we must get a winner one day.


Nick Palmer said...

I seem to remember it was Rowan Atkinson asking the difficult questions - or was it that Atkinson et al were just reviving an older sketch?

Alane Wallace said...

Brilliant! Save us from The Raptor!

TonyTheProf said...

They were reviving an older sketch Nick for "The Secret Policeman's Ball"