Thursday, 20 October 2011


I'm in Victor Meldrew mode tonight...

1 The next time someone tells you something is the "least worst option", tell them that their most best option is learning grammar.

2 I hate the word "deliverable". Used by management consultants for something that they will "deliver" instead of a report.

3 The irritating phrase: "You do the Math." Math? It's MATHS. Short for Mathematics. With an "S". Have you ever heard of "mathematic"? No? Then add the "S".

4. Period instead of full stop. Periods happen once a month. Full stops are at the end of sentences.

5. "It's the economy, stupid." A hideous phrase of Bill Clinton. Reply: "It's the bankers, stupid" where the blame is on the idiots whose financial gambling caused the credit crunch; this is better, factually and grammatically. In fact, in Bill Clinton's case, "It's the trouser snake, stupid" would have been more appropriate.

6. "It's not rocket science". A tag onto the end of sentences that really doesn't add much at all, as in stupid mistakes like. " Follow these easy steps, and you can easily cook an omelette in the non-stick frying pan. It's not rocket science." Teflon, anyone?

7. Can-do. A hideous Americanism, which is seen as a good thing, as in these example: "My mom said it's okay to talk to lesbians because they take good care of their cats and have a can-do attitude." and "no matter what your age he can infect you with a can-do attitude". Too many English speakers have the infection, alas, and it is spreading like the Black Death, carried by management consultants in shiny black suits. They killed off the black rats to stop the infection, and maybe we should do the same with the management consultants.


Anonymous said...

A saw a British BBC reporter using the word "airplane" tonight.

Ugh, It's Him! said...

I am not a lover of American neologisms, either, even if I have very occasionally used a couple of this list in a self-conscious attempt to lighten my writitng style. However, period, as a synonym for sentence and name of the mark that closes one, is a British archaism. They haven't jumped on the full stop bandwagon as fully as us, though.

L'Office du Jèrriais said...

Simple solution: use Jèrriais instead!

least worst option = mains piéthe chouaix
deliverable = d'liv'thabl'ye
you do the manth = cartchul'-ous
full stop = pouaint
it's the economy, stupid = v'là l'êcononmie, peûle
it's not rocket science = v'là tchi n'est pon d'la scienche ès fîsées
can-do = s'na

And that way it all sounds so much better :-)

Ugh, It's Him! said...

Blogger could do with Like and Dislike buttons. Anyway, I like L'Office du Jerriais' post.