Have you heard of "The Bald Truth"? Locals may know it as the blog site of Trevor Pitman - and there is also a website under that name, which needs updating - it still refers to him as "Deputy Trevor Pitman". But there are a surprising lot of other Bald Truths out there, as I found out when I was trying to remember the former Deputy's Twitter feed. So here is a trawl through the virtual realm of Baldness and Truth, rather like Dave Gorman's search for Dave Gorman (of which more later).
One of the first to come up above Trevor's blog in Google is the website:
This has the headline banner - "Sex, Life and Hair Loss", and it is a weekly talk radio show hosted by Spencer Kobren, founder and president of the American Hair Loss Association. I've been unable to find if Trevor has ever tuned in. Quite how you can talk every week on hair loss alone without repeating yourself endlessly is beyond me, which is probably why they added life and sex to spice up the show.
It is a rather peculiar conjunction, as if hair loss somehow correlated to loss of libido, or loss of attractiveness to women. Given the fan mail received by Telly Savalas as Kojak, I don't think that is the case. "Who loves you, baby?" as he would ask, but perhaps it is the lollipop in Kojak's hand that was the real aphrodisiac.
And from there, going towards the UK, we have a website all about deep personal life changes at:
"From money to health, from business to relationships - anybody exposed to Rohans passionate delivery, live coaching sessions and practical tools experience deep personal life changes. His journey continues as he expands both his brand The Bald Truth and his message globally."
While on Twitter, one of the first Twitter accounts to pop up is a political one. But not that of Trevor. This is the one which grabbed the first wording on Twitter:
The Bald Truth, @thebaldtruth
"I talk about things that matter (i.e., politics and Pittsburgh sports). Pittsburgh, PA"
I love the juxtaposition of the universal - "politics" and the particular "Pittsburgh Sports"! I can't really think of local politicians who make that kind of coincidence of two interests together. But as I am not really a sports fan, it is possible that it just has not registered.
There is also Dave Hanks, who has the Twitter @BaldTruthHR
His bio says: "An HR VP with 15+ years of experience talks Simple but Difficult Truths about Human Resources. Cincinnati, OH"
It's intriguing, with the combination of "simple" and "difficult", which seems almost a contradiction in terms. It reminds me of Bertrand Russell devoting an entire book of logic to prove that 1+1=2.
And then we are back to hair again, with
"In this documentary we will uncover the secrecy that has made it difficult to find out the truth about hair replacement techniques. #BaldTruthDoc London · indiegogo.com/The-Bald-Truth."
And in the UK:
"The Bald Truth @TheBaldTruthUK
Motivation, inspiration and anti-discrimination for baldies, balders and sympathisers."
Should Jersey's new discrimination law have a special anti-discrimination law for the follicle-challenged men, one might ask? It seems absurd, until you read an interesting story on the Huffington post in which John T Capps told the paper:
"And then on the last day, when they brought us in to give us our review and whether we made it or not -- then they were just casual enough at that time to say, 'you know, the image of our company does not have room for a bald head. We are dealing with young people, you are going to be associated with young people, and baldness is kind of associated with more mature people. We need our company to represented by somebody that has hair."
On a very different tack, is "Good Ape" at @BaldTruthTeller, who has, we are told, an "Insatiable hunger for the truth." This appears to be an atheist Tweeter with rather a caustic turn of phrase:
"The Quran claims to contain an explanation of everything past present and future. The English version doesn't seem to mention antibiotics though"
And of the Bible's authorship: "A desert dwelling nomad fantasy writer from 2000 years ago"
Meanwhile, we have BFT Foundation @BFTFoundation
This is "The Bald Faced Truth Foundation" which is "is a 501(c)3 organization that promotes joy and growth in youth through support of the arts, music, education and athletics. Portland, Oregon · baldfacedtruth.org"
And the somewhat sparse and Tweet free
The Bald Truth @TheBaldTruth1, which is "Fat-free since 1982"
And pretty tweet free, too!
But the one I rather like the best is
The BALD TRUTH@CoachRicKolster
Ric's bio is a "Leadership Expert, Executive Coach, Motivator Author of Roll Up Your Sleeves and Get To Work. Coach Rick speaks The BALD TRUTH Southlake, TX · CoachRickKolster.com"
It's an interesting mix of though provoking maxims, and the odd comic one, and here is a selection:
"God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages."
"A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song. What is YOUR song today? Will you sing it?"
"Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs."
"There are only two kinds of people in the world, the Irish and those who wish they were."
"It is better to look ahead and prepare than to look back and regret."
"It's time to start living in the present. Letting go of the past is not easy, especially if you have wounds that have never properly."
"Resentment, hate and anger are like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die."
"Nobody believes the official spokesman... but everybody trusts an unidentified source."
The last could particularly apply to Jersey, where official spin has eroded trust in political statements, which are often face-saving, and don't appear particularly honest, and the rumour mill, where unidentified sources may sometimes be treated with less suspicion than they deserve. The truth, in all probability, lies somewhere in between, whether bald or not.
For anyone intrigued by this kind of meander, I'd recommend Dave Gorman's site:
Rampôner - to cheek, to talk back - *rampôner - to cheek, to talk back, to give an impertinent answer* *Présent* j'rampône tu rampône i' rampône ou rampône j'rampônons ou rampônez i' rampôn...
3 hours ago