And so to bed...

My regular round up of quotes to end the day, as posted on Facebook.

For a change, I'm doing thematic quotes, and the theme this week is humour.

And so to bed... quote for tonight is from Douglas Adams

“You know," said Arthur, "it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young."

"Why, what did she tell you?"

"I don't know, I didn't listen.”

And so to bed... quote for tonight is from Terry Pratchett:

"It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?”"

And so to bed... quote for tonight is from Kathy Kenney-Marshall:

Insomnia

I cannot get to sleep tonight.
I toss and turn and flop.
I try to count some fluffy sheep
while o'er a fence they hop.
I try to think of pleasant dreams
of places really cool.
I don't know why I cannot sleep -
I slept just fine at school.

And so to bed... quote for tonight is from Roald Dahl, Revolting Rhymes:

A short while later, through the wood,
Came striding brave Miss Riding Hood.
The Wolf stood there, his eyes ablaze,
And yellowish, like mayonnaise.
His teeth were sharp, his gums were raw,
And spit was dripping from his jaw.
Once more the maiden's eyelid flickers.
She draws the pistol from her knickers.
Once more she hits the vital spot,
And kills him with a single shot.
Pig, peeping through the window, stood
And yelled, 'Well done, Miss Riding Hood!'

Ah, Piglet, you must never trust
Young ladies from the upper crust.
For now, Miss Riding Hood, one notes,
Not only has two wolfskin coats,
But when she goes from place to place,
She has a PIGSKIN TRAVELING CASE.

And so to bed.... quote for tonight is from Spike Milligan:

Said Hamlet to Ophelia,
I'll draw a sketch of thee.
What kind of pencil shall I use?
2B or not 2B?