Deathday

(tomorrow is now 2 years since Annie died)

Today is the day, my dear, when you left me;

I still remember that phone call, a shock to me:

So sudden, and I had spoken the night before,

And emailed. Now this – the sudden door,

Closed in my face, the news of your death:

So swift, the ending of a life, a final breath;

How I always worried when we slept at night,

Whether you would live through any night;

But it still came a shock, a thief stealing in, unseen,

All the lost time, regrets of what could have been;

Then my hand trembling, fumbling key in lock,

I remember driving, weeping, still in shock,

There to the hospital, to where you lay so still,

As if sleeping, and I wished that by an act of will,

I could say, awake, and you would rise and walk;

But I wept bitterly, no more conversation, no last talk;

And time has eased the burden, year by year,

That sensation of grief, almost so much like fear;

But the loss remains, the photo of you and me,

Still on the bookcase, a reminder that I see,

And so happy memories, your sharp mind,

Those are still there, not shut behind a blind:

Your love of Star Trek, and when I see it today,

I think of you, and I rejoice, this is our way;

My life changed the day we met, never the same,

And the day you died, it was as if I became lame;

I will remember you, until the day that I too die,

And may our ashes be scattered, so together lie.