A Visit to Bistro Soleil in 1986

Bistro Soleil Restaurant, Jersey United Kingdom

Overlooking the beach at Beaumont, the magnificent panorama of St. Aubin’s Bay, Jersey and the medieval fort, Bistro Soleil manages to mix atmosphere, food and drink perfectly... The Bistro Soleil Restaurant's spacious terrace is the perfect place to while away a leisurely lunch and let the sea breeze blow your cares away... Here enjoying seafood with Muscadet with our Chinon supplier. Décor is bright, airy and perfect for a Restaurant which is drenched in sunshine. The Good Food Guide recommendation singled out their particularly good wine list and manager Chris Power and his team are knowledgeable and always ready to make suggestions. During the Summer months there is the option of al fresco dining but the views from inside the Restaurant make it well worth a visit at any time of year.

January 1986 Campaign: A Visit to Bistro Soleil
By Henry G Littleales, Col. Ret.

This month troops went on intrepid journey into unknown hinterlands of St. Aubin.

Arena - Bistro Soleil. In my day a Bistro meant Paris, discretion, gingham table cloths, and Chianti bottles with candles stuffed in 'em. Now it's bargain night at lighting emporium, striped pine, and hootchy koochy music loud enough to count as sonic weaponry. Personally think it's a Bolshevik plot.

Seventeen chaps mustered in Bistro Soleil bar - I've had more room in latrines on Indian troop trains. Men reviewed menus and made plans of attack only to find more menu on new fangled back-lit wall displays. Made note that enemy very cunning - strategy obviously to confuse.

As front line cramped. troops advanced to open ground of dining room: Here enemy craftily split men between ‘two tables ,- refectory type with bench seating around, for those fellows like yours truly with more mature figure this meant instant immobilisation. Enemy proving more devious by the minute.

Although menu interesting, reports to H.Q. were that quality varied. .

Starters: Fried Brie good, pate not; escargot too garlicky; smoked trout 0.K.; hors d’oeuvres good but too large.

Main: Steak good; fish good; veal cordon bleu texture of old chamois leather; seafood brochettes had more onions and peppers than seafood.

Puds: Most noticeable - trifle. Big enough to have scuppered the Grafspay.

Coffee: Not enough.

Service: Brisk. infrequent and administered by young flibberti-gibbettes in tight tee shirts — not good for a chap's blood pressure.

Wine: Fair but pricey.

However, victory once more to Mensa. We ate their food without visible after effects, drank their wine without choking on the cost, and demanded more coffee.

Enemy’s defences collapsed because they tried to engage in too many sorties at once and did not notice our devious raising of noise level, nor our capture of open space at end when several members held ground on dining room floor for further conversation and exchange of pleasantries while enemy had to wait to close.

Our thanks to the Colonel for stepping, once again, into the breach during the absence of Yvonne Ronez.

A Personal Note from Tony

I used to love the Bistro Soleil, and having tried several other venues, settled as the one of choice for Valentine's day with Annie. It was always good food, and the small intimate surroundings were perfect for the occasion. There would often be a set menu with a "sharing platter" as starter, most suitable for Valentine's day.

The last time I went there was February 2009, the year of her death, and the last time, although I did not know it then, that we would visit. Soon after, it closed and became re-opened as Mark Jordan on the Beach, but I've never been tempted to return. The menus look quite different anyway, and I would not like to spoil those bittersweet memories of our last time together there. The bistro is gone, but the memory of our very special nights there remains.

04/08/2023

Breaking Bread: A Tale of the Dark Ages

As we approach Lammas, 1st August, a poem set in the dark ages. Christianity is starting to take root, but the Vikings are raiding the coasts, and the old blessed ways are still venerated, and have not been entirely forgotten in some villages.

Breaking Bread: A Tale of the Dark Ages

That year there was a frost and bitter cold:
I tell this tale while I can, I now am old;
I remember well, that year the river froze;
I remember the frisky lambs, such joy
To me, a mere stripling, a young boyl
We were happy, yet who truly knows
What fates have in store, and disclose
To us poor mortals. And off the coast,
Through the mist, on sea like a ghost,
Came the Viking ship, as they came
For monkish treasure theirs to claim;
The monastery burned that day and night,
And we did not escape this blight:
Our wooden huts, our village in flame;
Some fought and died, but to our shame,
We ran away, my mother, and I, a lad;
But I was alive. Alive! And so very glad!
With but one loaf, just what we wore,
As we fled this strange and evil war;
Each day we broke bread, ate and drank
From fresh streams, and always thank
Lugh for the gift of corn and bread,
While we trudged on so full of dread;
Inland we made, across the forest glade,
Past where ancestors tombs had made
Of earthen banks, and mighty stones,
Laid the grave goods, laid their bones;
We left there a morsel of our bread,
To honour the ancestors, the noble dead;
And now our bread was old and stale,
And I grew ever sickly, weak and pale;
My mother feared the gods, their wrath,
As we stumbled down a beaten path;
The weather poor: gales, wind, rain:
How we prayed to the god of grain;
Then prayers answered, storm ceased,
And as we turned gaze to the east,
Was a village, so in rags we walked:
Welcomed in our native tongue. We talked,
Told the elders and druid of our quest,
To find shelter in Logres, the true west,
Among our people, our kith, our kin,
Homecoming, to be welcomed in;
And here we were, my mother and I:
We had just survived, we did not die;
But invited to the feast, a ballad sung:
The old songs in our own fair tongue;
At time of first harvest, Lugh be praised:
We quaffed our ale, and beakers raised
For welcome, hospitality to the stranger,
Sanctuary and hope, away from danger;
This Lammas day, corn dollies at the cairn,
When hope once lost, returned again;
How kind fates mended broken thread:
And gather round the fire, broke bread.

A Meal at Twigs - 1986

A Meal at Twigs - 1986

Yvonne Ronez Reports...
[The Journal of Channel Islands Mensa]
May 1986

To all who did not join us for dinner at "Twigs" restaurant on the 1st. May - bad luck - thirteen of us had a lovely time.

The bar is unpresumptuous two tier granite and leatherette, but comforting and welcoming. The dining room is spacious and cottage style, but what this place lacks in sophisticated "chic" it makes up for with its excellent cuisine.

Among the succulent starters at our table were rich home made tomato soup, fresh seafood cocktails, steaming moules. lasagne, deep fried mushrooms with tartare sauce, huge avocado vinaigrette and avocado with seafood. The only quibble here was that the avocados were on the firm side of ripe.

For the main course came Tournedos Aidi with filet steak the size of double decker sandwiches, beautiful roast duck of ostrich proportions, moist roast chicken that looked as though the chef had split a capon in two, tasty scampi Provencal with rice and a delicious sole that had an avocado and mushroom stuffing where the backbone had been - how's that for a massage! To accompany all this were Jacket potatoes, chips, fresh carrots, fresh cabbage and fresh cauliflower, all in large quantities. And as if this were not enough there came soured cream for the jacket spuds.

Somehow or other must of us managed a dessert. Apart from the pies and gateaux there was really fresh fruit salad with not a tinned mandarin in sight, fresh pineapple slices chuckling in a bath of kirsch and fresh sorbet, all lovingly drowned in cream.

Having finished our wine and filled ourselves to bursting, we retired to the bar, loosened our stays and indulged in coffee and liqueurs.

The meal averaged out at about £13 each, which is very reasonable. We could have done with a little more choice at the cheaper end of the wine list, but the quality was high and there was good house wine at £3 a carafe.

The conversation flowed back and forth, the wit sparkled, and the staff were patient and accommodating. We all sat on one table and there was not a murmur of dissent about our requirements for separate bills. So whether it is a gluttonous dinner a deux or the office knees up, this place is wholeheartedly recommended.

Arrivals

Arrivals

A busy airport where I nearly always pray:
Where some time arrival, sometime delay;
And I pray that it will be in on time
And not delayed, cancelled, which I’m
Always fearing. And so often sea fog
Rising from the coast, come to clog
Up all the schedules, how I hate it:
For I am impatient, I admit!
But today is a lucky day, plane lands
On time, people arrive, shake hands,
Hug, smile, cry, all the emotions here,
And I am so pleased, I could cheer;
The sportsman, rugsack on his back,
Ready for rain, old man in plastic mac,
A child, riding the luggage trolley,
A middle aged woman, smiling, jolly,
An old man, slow walking with a stick,
A young girl running ever so quick,
A smart suit and tie, now that’s vanity!
In they come, a sample of humanity;
Then my girl arrives, dear sweet heart,
Time to leave arrivals, and depart!

Woolworths – A retrospective from 1986

Woolworths – A retrospective
By Ken Webb
[Thinks!: The Journal of Channel Islands Mensa]
May 1986

In order to fight a take-over bid and to expand their B 8: Q outlets, F.W.Woolworth are selling several of their major stores and closing down a further 22 which are unprofitable. I remember the good. old-fashioned “Woolies” of the old - the very old - days.

When I was a kid, “Woolies” boasted that nothing in their store sold over 6d. in fact they were known as the ”3d and 6d store". Considering that the Woolworth family made millions one wonders how this could be so when the top price was - in modern parlance – 2 1/2 new p. Doubtless something to do with the intricacies of turnover and profit margins.

I recollect as a lad, barely of school age. I had an intense desire for a gramophone but our family being exceedingly poor, it was but a pipe dream.

Imagine my surprise and delight when that Xmas, I was presented with my heart's desire. “Woolies” had done it again! A gramophone for 6d? Well, not quite. The case was 6d (Dad); the clockwork motor 6d (Mum); turntable 6d (Aunt & Uncle); Pick-up arm 3d (Uncle); sound head 4d (Aunt); box of needles 2d(two cousins) - two shillings and three pence all told (11 new p). How about the records. you might say. Well, Woolies sold them for 3d and 6d each but, family finances being as they were, my source of supply was a second hand shop where you could pick them up for 1d each - scratches and all included!

My present system cost some hundreds of pounds but never gives me the happiness of my first ever - 2/3 at Woolies.

Such is progress!

No Ears to Hear

By government edict, presumably signed off by the Minister (who was probably told there was a consultation, even though there certainly was not a wide one) has decided that St Clement school is no longer the school for the deaf unit so it’s sadly ended. This is the school which had a signed choir which won awards at the Eisteddfod. How can that continue now? The new mood is against it.

Apparently deaf children can now choose which school they go to as technology will help them, no need to have real people in  support! And yet even with cochlea implants, sound is not the same as normal hearing and at some time it will probably be realised that extra support in one place would have been a good idea. (see https://youtu.be/lzgQrHFDNLE for details on how they differ from normal speech). 

All the deaf resources have been cleared out and packed into boxes – 20 years of resources, which I do hope will not be dumped. [postscript - most of them have been]. And sadly the specialist rooms are now re delegated as normal rooms. Such a shame as St Clement was the first school to be specific built to incorporate deaf education. But that, as this poem shows, is “progress”.

Just so it does not go unrecorded....

No Ears to Hear

They cannot listen, and yet they can hear,
Unlike those they forget in quiet despair;
Budget cuts, school policy changes, lost
Amidst this is the very human cost
As St Clement’s School closes its doors
To the deaf. A policy from upper floors
Of an unaccountable civil service here:
But technology can bridge gaps, never fear -
Until it cannot, and a diaspora of the deaf
Now in many schools. A discordant clef:
The notes are musique concrete, off key,
As common sense and compassion flee;
An invisible hand swept support away:
Deaf classrooms closed this very day;
This is a future, and nothing to keep
Of deaf culture. I could surely weep
At what is decided behind closed doors,
Inside office buildings, on upper floors;
But this is how things are done today:
It is "progress" and also “The Jersey Way”;
Cost effectiveness, a calculus of misery,
As the signing class consigned to history,
Without even a historian to record it:
It goes silently, closure, forced to quit;
No more the human touch, reaching out:
Gone without fanfare, without shout;

While teachers protest about their pay,
This is lost in the shadows, in dismay;
And how will the deaf child now cope
As snatched away this means of hope?

The Coronation Year 70 Years Ago - July 1953 Part 2

By a curious coincidence of dates, the coronation year 2023 will be 70 years after the coronation date in 1953. I thought it would be of interest to look back during this year of some of the events taking place before, during and after the coronation of Queen Elizabeth II.

The Coronation Year 70 Years Ago - July 1953 Part 2

17.—-Keen house competition in St. Heller School sports held at the FB. Fields—Final band performance of Royal Innis’killing Fusiliers at Howard Davis Park.

18.-Flag day for St. John Ambulance raises over £1,008.

20. -Variety show opens at The Forum. Annual general meeting of Jersey Football Association;

21.-—Visite Royale takes place at St. Ouen, the route selected being traversed by cars. Second professional boxing tournament staged in the open air at Springfield.

22.-—Parochial rate at St. Brelade increased to 2/6, this being due to heavy commitments for the St. Aubin’s landslide. Jersey Swimming Club hold floodlit gala and championship races at the Pool.

23.—-British Hill Climb Championship held at Bouley Bay, Ken Wharton winning for the fourth year in succession. St. Helier School‘s first prize-giving takes place at the Town Hall.

24. Conclusion of St. Helier Yacht Club two-day regatta held in St. Aubin’s Bay ; the race from St. Helier’s Harbour to Chausey was held on Saturday and was won by Taquah (R. Hughes).

25.—Before the Full Court to-day the appeal of Mr. J. A. Parr against his conviction on a dangerous driving charge by the Police Court Magistrate was allowed. Mr T. G. Le Marinel, Constable of St. John, accedes to request of influential deputation to stand for the election for Senator. Narrow escape of two visiting Scouts from drowning at St. Brelade’s, members of the Penguin Club, London, bringing the lads ashore. Victoria College swimming sports held at the Pool, Dunlop winning the senior cup. New relief telephone exchange at the Lyric Hall comes into operation.

26. St. John Ambulance inspection, at Springfield, this having to take place indoors owing to inclement weather.

27. Judging of the hotels and guest houses display competition in connection with the Battle of Flowers, the premier award going to Old Portelet Inn. Serious accident occurs at Millbrook, a ganger on the drainage scheme, Mr. Thomas Lee, being run over by a heavy lorry and sustaining multiple injuries. Prize day at Victoria College, the summer concert being held in the evening.

28.—Second and last of the Visites Royale takes place at St. Clement, Roads Inspectors for the Samarés Vingtaine being fined for neglect of duties. The cross-bay swim (from St. Helier Harbour to St, Aubins) won by the English international water polo player R. Turner, who covered the 3 1/2-mile course in 1 hr. 54 m. 1 s.; the ladies’ race was won by 17-year-old Germaine Vautier in 2 h. 38m. 6 s. Judging of the shop Window display competition, Messrs. Jax, of Queen Street, and Doreen Wieland, of Bath Street, taking the principal prizes.

29,—St. Martin’s parish rate reduced from 2/6 to 2/3 per qr. Hampstead Harriers defeat Jersey Athletic Club by 36 points to 30 in meeting at F.B. Fields.

30.—-Jersey’s Battle of Flowers held in grand weather, the attendance being estimated at 40,000 ; St. Saviour’s exhibit again won the 'prix d’honneur ; a big attraction was the band of the Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders; the day concluded with an evening fete and a floral ball at West Park Pavilion.

What I did in my holidays

Do you remember the old days, back in the 1960s and 1970s, when the summers seemed to go on forever, and the beach was a glorious playground, the sea was a giant swimming pool, and in each rockpool lurked a miniature aquarium? And at the end of the holidays, and the start of the new term, a good standby for the English teacher was for you to write an essay about what you did. This poem is an unashamed exercise in nostalgia about those bygone days.

What I did in my holidays

July was a month of summer pleasures
Licking a cone of Jersey ice cream
On a sunny day, one of the treasures
Of this month, my summer’s dream

Childhood is now a distant time away
And yet it still is so vivid in my mind
Beaches, sand castles, school holiday
And shrimps in rock pools to find

Ice cream soda, lollies, lemonade
Splashing in the sea, laughed and joked
High tides crash across the promenade
We run between the waves, get soaked

What I did in my holidays yet to write
Back then, the future was so very bright

The Coronation Year 70 Years Ago - July 1953 Part 1

By a curious coincidence of dates, the coronation year 2023 will be 70 years after the coronation date in 1953. I thought it would be of interest to look back during this year of some of the events taking place before, during and after the coronation of Queen Elizabeth II.

The Coronation Year 70 Years Ago - July 1953 Part 1

1.  St. Brelade’s parish assembly approves plans for repairs to the .St. Aubin’s landslide, these to cost £3,515. Jersey College for Girls’ inter-house swimming sports held at Havre des Pas Pool.

 

2.—Nursing Association holds fete at St. Ouen’s Manor, dismal weather conditions somewhat spoiling this event ; at Springfield the annual sports and gymkhana staged by The Beeches took place,  whilst at Blanches Banques-the third of the Jersey Motor Cycle and Light Car Club’s scrambles was held.

 

3.—Jersey Swimming Club defeated by Cambridge University in swimming match held under flood-lights at the Bathing Pool. St. Mary’s parish assembly decides that the rate remain as last year, i.e. 2/3 per quarter.

 

4. A young French cyclist, 22-year-old Jean Jézéquel, killed outright when his cycle collides with a car on Samarés Inner Road ; a “verdict of accidental death was subsequently recorded at the inquest. Miss Treena van Doorne chosen as “ Miss Jersey Battle of Flowers” in competition staged at the Odeon Cinema.

 

6.—The first sea bathing tragedy of the season occurs at Portelet, the victim being 32-year-old Mr. D. H. E. Dowling; a verdict of accidental drowning was recorded at the. subsequent inquest.

 

7.—-Professional boxing tournament held at Springfield, a crowd of about 1,000 attending.

 

8.-—-Jersey committee of the British Empire Cancer Campaign formed following special meeting of representatives of local associations. Col. A. S. Turnham, CBE, Military Knight of Windsor addresses Rotarians in connection with the British Empire Cancer Campaign.

 

9.—Coronation Air Display at the Airport thrills 30,000 spectators, aerobatics by French airmen being a highlight of the show; an innovation was the arrival of His Excellency the Lt.-Governor by helicopter from Government House. .

 

10.——Inquest opened on the body of Mrs. Ada Le Boutillier, the  octogenarian whose burial was stopped the previous day ; following ; evidence given by the Hospital doctor a verdict of death from pneumonia following a fracture of the femur was returned. First annual  swimming gala of St. Helier School.

 

11.—-At the Royal Court today the companies concerned in the recent agreement on licensed house monopolies announced that the agreements had been cancelled. Regimental band of the Royal Inniskillings commence series of concerts at the Parade Gardens and Howard Davis Park. Verdict of accidental death returned at the inquest held on the body of Mr. Cecil Bernard Fisher, a visitor, who fell from a window at Seabright, Gorey, whilst sleep-walking. Before the Full Court today Mr. G. I. E. Gruchy was admitted a member of the local Bar. A 30-ft. speedboat bound from Guernsey to this Island breaks down off Corbiere, a timely rescue being made by the auxiliary cutter Girl Joyce.

 

13.-—At the Assizes today, David Jack Proper, charged with manslaughter in connection with the recent motor cycling accident on St. Aubin’s Road was unanimously found not guilty and discharged; this was the only case before the Court. .

 

14.—Le Quatorze Juillet celebrated by the French colony in the Island, a reception being held at the French Consulate. Two records broken at J.A.C. championship meeting held at the FB. Fields.

 

15.—Centenier J. N. Germain returned unopposed as Deputy for St. Martin at meeting of electors—Parish of St. John decides on dust collection service, thus rescinding the voluntary collection at 6d. per bin. St. Ouen’s parish rate to remain as last year, i.e., 2/6. Girls ’Life Brigade hold farewell “at home” for their president, Lady Grasett. Swimming section of J.S.S A. hold annual gala at the Pool.

 

16.—Jersey Cage Bird Society stage successful nest feather show at Springfield. Large crowd at Jersey Swimming Club gymkhana at Havre des Pas Pool. .

What is a Skipper?.

What is a Skipper?.

With acknowledgements to "Coastguard”.

A skipper is a ‘gentle. reasonable and loving husband, father or friend who turns into a raving demon when overtaken by a hire boat.

A skipper calls his wife "Darling" from Monday to Friday and "you blithering idiot" on Saturday and Sunday, except on holiday cruises when he probably doesn't speak to her at all.

A skipper honestly believes that his wife/girl friend can lasso a bollard 30ft away with a 25ft line.

A skipper is courteous to all other water users - except hire craft, rowing eights, sailing dinghies, children on lilos, members of rival yacht clubs.....

A skipper likes the simple life, he never moors near supermarkets, shops or stores. hairdressers or post offices.

A skipper likes the quiet life, he frequently moors by a riverside pub which disgorges its entire population, including him, at 11.p.m., telling raucous stories and leaping over mooring lines.

A skipper is tolerant. He tries to understand why there is no fresh food, no stamp for his postcards, why his wife's hair looks a mess, why she gives him a filthy look instead of an aspirin for his headache.

A skipper doesn't think, he knows. His crew doesn't think he knows either.

The Hoard

During the summer of 2012 two men, using metal detectors, discovered ancient treasure in a field in Jersey. This treasure of compacted coins had lain hidden for up to 2,000 years. These coins were made about 2,000 years ago – when Julius Caesar and his Roman legions were conquering and the Channel Islands were changing from a Celtic way of life to a Roman style of living. That is the inspiration for this poem:

The Hoard

Gentle rain, washing away the dust
Of ages; iron in soil, turns to rust;
As it lies buried; distant ages past
Was hidden there, expected to last
Until the danger had gone away,
And the people return again one day;
Silver and bronze coins, gold bands,
Exquisitely made by artisan hands;
But it was not to be: treasure there
Buried deep, as deep as the fear
That drove its owners, as they fled:
Approaching armies bringing dread;
And yet the memory forgotten, lost:
All that great effort, all that cost,
Never to be seen as the days pass,
The soil turns to weeds and grass;
Thus it remains for so many years,
And then the rain falls, like soft tears,
Dampens the earth, and on one day,
The detectorists arrive, and they stay,
Patiently covering the whole field,
Waiting for the tell-tale note to yield
Something, rumours of great note:
Just word of mouth, no one wrote
Then or now of what lies beneath
This rough land, this common heath;
Finally, they uncover iron and gold,
And reveal to all this tale untold.

The Victoria Tower Astronomical Society

From "The Victorian", 1974

THE VICTORIA TOWER ASTRONOMICAL SOCIETY (Vic T.A.S.)

The Pioneer group has for the last four or five years been converting the Victoria Tower at Gorey (an early Martello tower) into an astronomical observatory. At the end of last year the project was nearing completion, and it seemed time for a society to be formed for people interested in astronomy. This would instruct them in the use of the observatory, with its ten-inch Newtonian reflector telescope (donated by Old Victorian Mr. Robert Le Rossignol), and give them the opportunity. of hearing lectures and seeing films on the Apollo programme, and talks on telescopes, comets, satellites, the sun and the planets.

The society is open to all secondary schools in the island, most of them having representatives who, together with the President, the Secretary and the Treasurer, form the committee which organises the Society.

The committee is as follows:—

President: Mr. E. Le Quesne.
Secretary: Marion Le Cornu.
Treasurer: Christopher Parlett.
Representative for Victoria College: Gary Misson.
Representative for Jersey College for Girls; Kim Turner.
Representative for Hautlieu: Angela Long.
Representative for De La Salle: Keiron Casey.

The Society has so far 32 members. The committee has, decided that there should be an annual subscription of 25p to cover the cost of films and observatory expenses. In the near future the Society will be showing more N.A.S.A. films and giving talks on radio astronomy, cosmology, and a summary of the Apollo mission. The Society usually meets every alternate week, either on Tuesdays or Wednesdays. Up till now the meetings have been in the lecture theatre at Victoria College, but next term each meeting will be at a different school.

Since Christmas, on nearly every clear, calm weekend evening, there has been a group of people up at the observatory looking at various celestial objects, notably the nebula, in Orion, Saturn and the moon.

Electricity is now being installed at the observatory so that by- Easter there will be an efficient lighting and heating system; there will also be power to turn the telescope to that it can track any star it is pointed at. This enables time-exposures to be taken, and an accurate photographic chart of the night sky can be compiled.

Once the electricity is installed a weekly observing session will be held on Fridays or Saturdays, weather permitting.

Plans are at the moment being drawn up for a radio telescope to be built on the Science block roof, which will receive pictures from weather satellites orbiting the earth.

C.B.P.

Hotel

When you have dementia, you may be confused about your surroundings, piece together fragments of memories like crazy paving, and although you are well cared for, not everything may be as it seems in your memory.

Hotel

This is a nice hotel, and I came to stay
Some time ago, memory slips away,
And I can’t always remember everything;
And visitors come here, they often bring
Flowers, nice to see, and have a chat,
And from time to time, I see a cat;
I may go home sometime, but here and now,
The food here is good, I must allow;
And I’m not sure why I am staying here,
And worry sometimes, dear, oh dear;
I shan’t get up much, in case I fell,
So if I move, a sensor sounds a bell,

And nurses come, help me to bed;

Nurses or staff, I've lost the thread

Of that memory, that stray thought:

A nagging feeling that I ought

To remember, about this hotel;

Oh never mind, it's just as well!

I have to take my pills, every day,
Or so the nurses always say;
The staff are very nice, bring meals,
And the food is very tasty and appeals;
Sometimes I eat in the dining room;
Sometimes I stay in my bedroom;
Nice photos on the shelves, and I know
I should know them, but memories go:

Old age, I suppose, a twilight zone;

Then I remember some I've known,

Like a blind opening, just one crack:

Before it closes, names come back;

I can’t always hear people speak
When they visit, almost every week;

But I enjoy to chat and and to smile: 

I lip read a bit, so it is not a trial;
Time passes, I lose track of each day,
As glaciers melting softly, wash away,
In a blaze of autumn sunshine;
So thank you, and I feel quite fine,
Only a little tired, so if you don’t mind
I’d like to sleep, if you’d be so kind:
Hand me my blanket, nice and warm;
No rage at dying light, anger at a storm,
But fading in the limelight, still all is well
Goodbye, and for now farewell

The Coronation Year 70 Years Ago - June 1953 Part 2

By a curious coincidence of dates, the coronation year 2023 will be 70 years after the coronation date in 1953. I thought it would be of interest to look back during this year of some of the events taking place before, during and after the coronation of Queen Elizabeth II.

The Coronation Year 70 Years Ago - June 1953 Part 2

17.-—Interesting address given at Church Missionary Society luncheon held at The Forum, the Rev. J. Foxcroft being the speaker.

13.—Sand race meeting at St. Ouen’s Bay, thrilling sport being seen.

19.—Licensing Assembly discusses monopoly agreements between brewery companies and wine merchants, commenting that restrictive practices were not in the public interest.

20.—Shocking road fatality occurs at St. Peter’s, a young motor cyclist. Mr. Stanley Le Marquand (21), being killed when his machine crashed into a lorry, the victim striking his head against a, milestone in the hedge ; two pillion riders, including one travelling on the dead man’s machine and the other on another machine involved, were injured ; a stationary delivery van was also involved in the accident ; at the subsequent inquest a verdict of death from injuries received was returned. Return inter-college match at the College Field ends in a draw. Over 100 deck chairs destroyed in flames on St. Brelade’s beach.

21. Annual handicap yacht race from St. Helier to Gorey won by Onyx (B. Morton). Annual church parade of members of St. John Ambulance Brigade. Heaviest rainfall for weeks, nearly .75 in. Being recorded.

23. There was a sequel to the recent motor cycling fatality at St. Peter‘s when Jean Ange Gouédard (20) was charged before the Police Court with dangerous riding.

24. Following complaints by residents of the district a pack of 18 dogs at Les Platons, Trinity, were rounded up and destroyed.

25. Record attendence at Gorey Coronation Regatta, but lack of wind spoiled the sailing events and thick fog the fireworks display in the evening. Town schools’ sports held at the FB. Fields, Halkett

Place retaining the Darby-Wade Trophy ; the country schools held theirs the following day, La Moye and St. Peter's winning trophies.

29. This week-end the busiest to date this year, nearly 9,500 passengers arriving and departing .by sea ; at the Airport on Saturday there were 250 movements, involving 3,421 passengers. The Island’s first A.A. box officially opened at Le Port, Five Mile Road. Annual meeting of Jersey Green Room Club.

30.—Special sitting of States discusses the appointment of directors of the Jersey Electricity Company., Deputies Candlin, Le Marquamd, Rumfitt and Senator Le Quesne eventually being appointed ; approval was given for the erection of 27 houses by the Midland Bank on the Headlands Estate, Corbiere; various minor matters were also dealt with. Constable of St. Peter’s unveils plaque commemorating the restoration of the ancient field-piece at the junction of New and Old Beaumont Hills. Jean Ange Gouédard, charged before the Police Court with dangerous riding in connection with the recent motor cycling fatality at St. Peter’s, is fined £10 and his licence suspended for nine months.

A Cautionary Tale Revised

With the Parliamentary committee branding Boris Johnson a liar, a suitable poem

A Cautionary Tale Revised

Matilda told such dreadful lies
And perished after calling "fire!"
And calling out the fire brigade
And laughing, sipping lemonade
So often that when a fire really came
She perished, just herself to blame
For when she called out "fire, fire"
They just called her a little liar
A tale design to create a shock
As told by writer, Hilaire Belloc
But Johnson told a sorry tale
False, of course, beyond the pale
When found guilty, said, I’m not
For it’s propaganda by lefty trot
The Express and Daily Mail rave
And say our Johnson is so brave
Pulled down by such jealous hate
This really mustn’t be his fate
Rees-Mogg says bring him back
Nanny is not needed for a smack
One day, he may return once more
Until then, off to distant shore
To give speeches, and money make
A portrait that was found a fake
Farewell, Boris, and sing your song
How everyone but you is always wrong
Unlike Matilda, who perished in fire
You were like Nero, playing his lyre
While Rome burned, not your fault
Truth is buried, the lies exalt.

The Coronation Year 70 Years Ago - June 1953 Part 1

By a curious coincidence of dates, the coronation year 2023 will be 70 years after the coronation date in 1953. I thought it would be of interest to look back during this year of some of the events taking place before, during and after the coronation of Queen Elizabeth II.

The Coronation Year 70 Years Ago - June 1953 Part 1

1.—Coronation Cavalcade opens at The Forum, Evelyn Laye and Leslie Sarony topping the bill.

2.—Coronation Day a memorable one in Jersey : The morning celebrations began with: a. parade through the town by the band of the King’s Royal Rifle Corps ; in the afternoon an Elizabethan fete was staged in the Howard Davis Park, Whilst in the evening a fine cavalcade paraded the town, the theme being mainly historical ; the day concluded with a grand display of fireworks from the Albert Pier at 10.30; most of the principal streets had been decorated and presented a magnificent appearance; the parochial authorities had arranged teas and games for the youngsters at various locales and these were much enjoyed; the weather was fine, though a cold wind prevailed. ’

4. An unusual “seller” on the ’Bridge- this morning was the Rector of Trinity, who having received some 40 barrels of potatoes in aid of the church restoration fund, sold these- at 4/’— above- the ruling figure. Inquest opened and adjourned on the body of 74-year-old Mr. T. R. Gibbs, who died- following a motor cycling accident at First Tower. J.MC. and L.C.C. second scramble of season held at Blanches Banques.

5.—The Coronation arch near the Town. Hall, erected by the parish, suddenly catches fire- and is largely destroyed.

6.—Central A.B.C. beat St. Servan in tournament held at Springfield. .

7.—Annual Corpus Christi procession through the streets of St. Helier.

8:—Before the Police Court today David Jack Proper (20) was charged with the manslaughter of Thomas Richard Gibbs, who died from injuries received after being knocked down by a motor cycle ridden by the accused, who was remanded on bail. Two robberies reported over the week-end, one at First Tower involving nearly £60 in cash and the other at the Gunsite Café, Beaumont, where only a few shillings and chocolate were taken;

9.—Special sitting of States unanimously votes £150,000 as Jersey’s contribution to Britain’s defence effort ; the sum of £30,000 was granted the Housing Committee for the construction of States houses at the Troglodyte Caves, Five Oaks; £1,000 was also granted the Beautés Naturelles Committee for the provision of a suitable dumping site: new rates at the institutions were agreed upon ; the free import of eggs was permitted. A stoppage of work occurred at the Ann Street Brewery at midday, but at 2.30 the men returned, the company having agreed to their demands. At the Jersey College for Girls, Miss E. G. Barton, former headmistress, unveils teak bench in commemoration of the Coronation.

11.—Verdict of accidental death recorded an; inquest held on the body of Mr. Richard Sagar, who died from injuries received through a fall into a soakaway on which he was working at his property, Isla Villa, Five Oaks. Government House levé in honour of the birthday of Her Majesty, the weather being ideal for the occasion. R.J.A. and HS. flower show held in Howard Davis Park.

12.Serious accident occurs at the Gas Works, an oil drum which was being cut exploding and causing multiple injuries to Mr. Harold Marie, an employee. The Rev. T. E. Fowler instituted as Incumbent .of St. Paul's Church.

13.—Serious motor cycling accident at St. Ouen’s, 29-year-old Mr. Frank Carré (who was to have emigrated to new Zealand shortly) sustaining a fractured spine when his machine overturns.

14. Underwater Fishing Club commences activities, thirty members “diving ” at Beauport.

15. Large audience at Springfield Theatre when the Elizabethan Singers, with Denis Matthews (pianist) give enjoyable concert. Victoria College defeats Forest School by 36 runs in match played at College Field. .

We are working on that: Kirsten Morel at the Chamber Lunch

"We are working on that..."

Minister for Economic Development, Tourism, Sport and Culture, Dep. Kirsten Morel – keynote speech on the future direction of the economy gave a talk, mainly of platitudes.

There is a demographic challenge, and one way to solve the dependency ratio would be a population of 150,000. Of course that would mean - as the Minister said - the same problem as immigrants aged would be passed onto the next generation as they got older, and the strain on the Island infrastructure would be at breaking point - it's not viable.

At last a politician who understood that increasing population to deal with dependency ratios is effectively a population Ponzi type scheme.

However, from that point on, matters got fuzzy. A nice visual chart showed current productivity (of course as he later admitted, there is no way to measure this!), and on another line population. As he pulled up the productivity line, the 150,000 line moved down. What fun he must have had with that chart!

So the solution (according to the Minister) is each worker must increase productivity by at least  7.5. A nice figure plucked out of nowhere. Quite how a taxi driver or a brick layer or a waiter is to be more productive is another matter, especially as the Minister made it clear it would not involve increasing working hours.

And then the Minister said the hospitality industry has shown massive increases in productivity in recent years! What planet is he living on? Shops and restaurants are closing or operating at reduced hours or days because of a lack of staff. The area near the Radisson had been described as a "ghost town" as so many businesses have closed. Increased cost of supplies mean that some fish and chip shops are on the brink of closing - what on earth does "increased productivity" mean in that context? 

How can hospitality staff be "more productive"? Employing "Billy Whizz" would seem to be the only way, but unfortunately for the Minister, Billy is a fictional character from the Beano.

When I spoke to an acquaintance, he said that statement by the Minister was probably due to the way they were measuring productivity. But it turned out there was as the Minister, when questioned said there was a "a lack of data" in knowing how things are doing.

The model for productivity is clearly an office environment, where tasks can be done in more efficient ways, or better alternatives found (AI anyone?) and yet it is being applied to every worker. 

The issue of childcare came up, as it is needed to get more women back (and productive!!!) in the workplace - but the childcare providers can't because of the way their business is coded for immigration, bring in skilled workers - and there are not enough here to go around. What was the Minister going to do about it. Look into it....

The only concrete proposal was to turn grants into loans if students don't return for five years to work in Jersey. I think that's far too long. Someone specialising in medicine will probably need extra training in the UK, especially if having qualified as a doctor, they want to be a surgeon or a vet. A one year stay in Jersey would make more sense. Many students take a year out - a "sabbatical" before starting a degree course. Making this a mandatory year afterwards would not be such a great inconvenience and they may even stay.

In conclusion, a speech by Kirsten Morel which would have made Jim Hacker (of Yes Minister) proud. A lot was said, but there was very little in the way of concrete substance or examples.

No wonder Murray Norton rather brutally said "To be honest, Minister, your talk lacked focus". Brutal, but what most of us were thinking.

The Incinerator

One from the back catalogue today, first written in 2014. A soliloquy that is a pastiche of William Shakespeare's "All the World's A Stage".This is about our wasteful society.

The Incinerator

All the world's a tip
And all the men and women merely dumpers;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time fills many bins,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Using many thousand disposable nappies
And then the whining school-boy, with his crisps
And coke cans dumped, dropping his chewing gum
On the roads to school. And then the lover,
Leaving pizza boxes and discarded beer cans
Drunk with his girl. Then a driver,
With gas guzzling cars, cigarette smoked at speed
Thoughtlessly thrown onto pavements as he goes
Even in the road sweeper's mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
And dustbins full of empty vintage wine bottles
Full from Vin d'Honneurs and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the obese and slipper'd pantaloon,
Leaving dog mess on green paths as it has always done
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too short
For his vast shank; and his big manly voice,
Lost in grunts as he sits on the sofa, eats
And channel hops the day away. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is house clearance to incinerator of lifetime junk
False teeth, contact lenses, moth balls, and everything
Excepting the deceased, burnt himself elsewhere.

New Boy at College House

From The Victorian 1974, an account of what it was like to be a boarder at Victoria College. I remember boarders from this period, although by my time, most boys were day students. College House was also used for school dinners, and I had a year of those. You would assemble outside the entrance door at lunchtime, file in, and sit at tables. Food would be some kind of meat (I could never really identify it), vegetables and potatoes, followed by a desert - the only one I recall was prunes (which you did Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Sailor, Richman, Poorman... with the stones, and usually covered in custard, a thick, glutinous mass ladled onto the plate. 

As soon as I could persuade my parents, I moved to packed lunches where you could sit outside in the College grounds. 

At the school lunches, however, a master would usually be on one table, and I invariably ended up on that table. I remember Colonel Finch (mentioned below), who had a great bald dome of a head which would go red when he was angry, usually when boys misbehaved, but I always found him interesting to talk to - he was keen to know about how well I was doing in mathematics, and when I came 2nd in the whole year's exams, just missing a prize, he gave me an old fashioned, beatifully crafted, geometry set in a case. A kind man.

NEW BOY AT COLLEGE HOUSE by M.S.C.S.

During the Christmas term my parents left the island for some weeks and I became a new boy at College House at the age of eighteen. The oaken main-doors swung open to reveal hallowed flag- stones . . . or does that sound too much like Frank Richards ?

In fact any preconceived misconceptions I may have nurtured of a Greyfriars-like community isolated from the nineteen seventies by a haze of fagging and midnight feasting were indeed pre-conceived misconceptions. The true picture which emerged was one of a moderately progressive and very sound home from home for about forty boys.

The day at College House starts at 7.30 with a morning call by some sadistic first-former armed with a hand bell. This leaves one ample time to wash, dress and tidy up the dormitory before breakfast at eight o’clock. In practice I, together with the rest of my dormitory, perfected the ability to rise at 7.56 and still arrive in the dining room in a punctual if dishevelled manner.

Breakfast, like other meal-times at the House strikes a curious balance between formality and the feeding of a shoal of piranha fish. My awesome prefectorial status was never more tested than when it came to acrimonious disputes about the distribution of cornflakes. In fairness I must say that politeness usually overcame young appetites. Lunch was also an amusing interlude, as the various religious taboos of the Commonwealth boarders strained the most efficient meal plans.

I should add, just in case anybody is taking this article seriously, that the cooking and other service facilities at College House are of the highest possible standard. Furthermore, the guidances of the Finch and Buckland families and of Mrs. Causton, the Matron, were always most efficient and sympathetic. This is a very important factor when one considers that many of the junior boys are children away from their parents for the first time.

In the evening after tea the juniors attend a supervised prep. period whilst the College House prefects—in effect the sixth formers—disappear to their clandestine holes to study. The homework of these senior boys is not rigidly supervised but by this stage in one’s school career one allegedly has a certain self-discipline anyway. Thus despite sharing a study with an insane Welshman cum hi-fi unit I found myself working far better than I do at home. This, together perhaps with the feudal seating arrangements of the T.V. room, highlights the greatest gift that College House gives to its inmates. The system of respect and mutual dependence generate a spirit of independence and strength in the boys.

M.S.C.S.

The Chimes at Midnight

A poem reflecting on key moments in the Orson Welles masterpiece, which has recently been shown again on "Talking Pictures". I saw it years ago, and watched it again, and as amazed and in awe of it now as I was then. Shakespeare's words, but from five plays, and so visually cinematic. The Battle of Shrewsbury is still once of the most amazing sequences I have ever seen, and without all the modern CGI effects, just wonderful editing and camera work.

As one reviewer said: "Orson Welles’ adaptation of both parts of Henry IV (incorporating bits of Richard II, Henry V and The Merry Wives of Windsor, some Welles and Ralph Richardson’s narration of Holinshed’s Chronicles) was made under near-impossible conditions yet remains arguably the best screen adaptation of Shakespeare."

The Chimes at Midnight

We have heard the Chimes at Midnight
Say Falstaff now to Master Shallow
The Battle of Shrewsbury, such a fight
Arrows rain down, lances death blow

Mistress Quickly fusses in great hall
Prepares the flagon, fulsome sack
Falstaff holds court, mirthful sprawl
Laughs with Hal, falls on his back

The new King Hal arises on his throne
Banishes Falstaff, old man, go home
In stature as a monarch, he has grown
No more the wastrel set to roam

Falstaff is dead, Justice Shallow’s reedy cry
Losing Merrie England, breath left with a sigh